When I was seeing a therapist for a while, she told me about being mindful, being grounded. She noticed I did not keep my feet totally flat on the ground, and suggested I do that in order to begin grounding myself. I think a lot of us trichsters if not all of us, have trouble relaxing, and trouble with anxiety. Thanks for the reminder about practising mindfulness, and good for you that you did not give in to the pulling urges Confident.

No problem Panther. Ah, not at the moment but it will come!

Thanks Manda :) Mexico is indeed amazing. I'd love to visit much more.. I'm off to Bacalar in mexico for 5 days soon, then on to Belize. Yes, it is very uncomfortable sitting with a negative feeling. All I want to do is ignore it or make it go away.

Trickster, I definitely have issues with anxiety and living in the future too. I think it takes a lot of gentle practice.

Hm, my oulling is still rather uncontrolled. A lot of bursts of pulling. Probably because my hair is generally up with a bun with a headband or covered by a head scarf (when at home). So there's no "grazing" all day kind of thing happening. My levels of emotional distress are still pretty high, but things are a little better at the moment. I'm still doing all the good things. Consistency is important.

Travel is full of new and unfamiliar experiences. That's why it's great, but it's also a constant stressor, even when that stress is positive. I try to constantly be reminding myself that the little things I often worry about while traveling are generally really trivial and based on worst-case-scenarios I'm playing out in my head rather than reality. "Living in the future", as you phrased it above, is a really good way to put it. But I hope you're continuing to enjoy Mexico! That's still on my list of places to get to one day...I'm planning to go somewhere for a week in March, but I have no idea where yet, haha. Maybe Russia, or India if a friend can go with me (that's one of the few places I won't go alone.)

It's true that travel is full of stress. I'm definitely still enjoying it though, I love travel!! And I love Mexico! And ooh, fun (Russia or India). I don't think I'd go to India alone either. The major stress I'm feeling is due to the terrible state of my relationship. Things are bad. I don't really want to get into it here..

So due to the relationship stress I just mentioned, I'm still feeling these super intense urges and I'm still pulling in a quite focused way at times, especially when I let my hair out at night and put a head scarf on (urges are so strong that I take the headscarf off, put it on again, take it off, etc. Mindfulness needs more attention.

Relationship stress is a huge trigger for sure. (The source of a lot of my pulling recently, too.) If you want to vent somewhere, you can always send me a message!

I hope your managing to enjoy traveling despite other stress! I imagine traveling with someone for an extended time is quite difficult. The longest I've traveled with someone was two weeks, and even that was rough.

Thanks Manda :) :) I'll keep that in mind. I'm sorry that this kind of stess is an issue for you too.

I really don't think it's the traveling that's the cause of the issues. It's just exacerbating them occasionally. We have travelled for almost 3 months before and have been on many 1-2 week holidays. I'm definitely still enjoying the traveling, especially now I've accepted things a bit more. I'm at Lake Bacalar (Laguna Bacalar) at the moment and it's beautiful. I'm staying the in most perfect accommodation right on the lake. So very relaxing.

My pulling.. Hm I'm not really tracking it at the moment. Which I do think I need to do. I don't think I'm oulling heaps honestly. My hair is covered or in a bun all the time. And I haven't had many of those pulling binges in the past few days. After I move on to Belize on Saturday then I can start up my routines again.

Travel is an intense situation that could definitely exacerbate any issues, even if it's not causing those issues directly! I'm glad the traveling is going well anyway. Your hotel on the lake sounds lovely!

Tracking pulling is a good idea...I know it helps me, but sometimes I just avoid doing it and I'm not really sure why. But it might show you that you're doing pretty well and not pulling as much as you think you are!

The hotel is indeed great. Very small, as in not many rooms, and quite cheap too, the cheapest room is $17 USD a night.

For me, tracking never reveals that I haven't been pulling as much as I thought. It's ALWAYS more. Ah well. The pulling has been less lately I think. 0-5 today I think. I kind of think I've pulled none but I may have pulled a couple this morning. I really ought to track. Ignorance truly is bliss though..

Tracking usually reveals bad news for me, too. But it does show progress that I often don't acknowledge on my own as well!

Very true.. Me too :) I think I need to put up a calendar again. I think it's muuuch easier if you simply buy a yearly calendar and use that. For those of us who need a physical visual reminder.

Hmm, it's that hormonal time of the month and I definiteky find it much harder to surf the urges during this time. So here's something interesting; I've been abstaining from alcohol recently (past 3 weeks), and I'll be doing it for a while longer I think. It's been interesting to note how often I use alcohol as a crutch. Eg, when im bored, to relax when I'm stressed, to feel at ease in social situations. I Had the thought that pulling is a kind of similar tool. It made me want to "give up" pulling too. Of course you know and I know that Trich isn't simply an addiction or a habit and it's not as simple as that. But it brought back a bit of my old motivation, and I remembered how much willpower it requires to not pull. Though perhaps this time I can focus on the issues that often cause me to pull at the same time. Eg perfectionism, shame, self acceptance..

Just using a yearly calendar is a good idea. I've tried to get fancy about it in the past and buy special things to track pulling behaviors, but maybe that's why I find it hard to get motivated to do it.

I agree that feeling successful in ways not related to pulling helps with trich-related motivation, too! Trich isn't an addiction and it's so much more than a habit, but there are definitely some similarities, and the need for willpower is huge.

Do you feel like alcohol increases your urges? I don't drink much usually (although I have been drinking a lot more out of stress/sadness recently) but I don't notice a difference.

With anxiety, it's a hard pattern to work through in decreasing your urge to pull soothers (I can't think of any other word to use at the moment), focus your mind and body "in the moment", and keep doing this to maintain for any length of time without outside reminders.

If simple is what usually works, keep the calendar simple. If sparkly is what usually works, then sparkle up the calendar. I changed out my clipboard and that made a difference for me.

Enjoy your traveling! I'm sorry you and hubby are having to deal with issues.

I feel like alcohol increases my urges. In the Kender Diet it says that dry wine is on the good list, as in allowed. The wine I drink is medium dry. I don't follow the Kender diet, ( prpbably should) but have noticed that the foods they list as triggers are for sure triggers for me also. I have not used a calendar to track at all. Might be a good idea for me.

I think of trich this way - that it is a compulsion, triggered by stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, etc., but it soon becomes an ingrained habit. When my scalp itches I pull, when I am stressed I pull, when I am tired, when I am experiencing idle time, or when at the computer, and the list goes on.

sweetie, so sorry to hear you are having relationship problems, that must be v hard especially when there is little escaping from each other when you are traveling together. You are so right to give up alcohol (at least for a while).. it definitely causes anxiety and pulling the next day.
I hope you enjoy your travels.. suerte amiga xx

Hi Manda, hm I think it lowers my willpower, so in that respect yes, alcohol does affect my oulling. Other than that I'm not sure.

Thanks mid for your thoughtful comment. "Staying in the moment" is good advice.

Trickster - yes, there are so many factors and triggers! It's constant..

Thank you luleee! Yes, the constant closeness aspect is very hard. We do a fair few things separately when ch is helpful. And yes, that anxiety the day after drinking is a definite trigger!

Ah, I've done it again. It's been about 3 weeks since I last wrote here. The time just slips away! My hair is getting worse and worse, because as I've mentioned previously, my hair is thin and so the effects of even mild pulling, over time, causes my hair to look worse and worse. It's time for a kind of pull-free-thon (maybe 3 hairs per day is acceptable for it to be a good day). Of course, compassion for myself over slip ups is included! Ok, starting from 3pm April 2 (in eastern mexico).

I'm still not drinking, it's been 1.5 months now. I'm actually really happy about it, and am thinking of sticking with it.

It's my birthday today, and I'm in Mexico again so it's lovely. Having a good day with eating out, the beach, swimming in a rooftop pool. We are flying to guatemala tomorrow which is pretty exciting.