Yes. Just keep trying. You will prevail.

As always, I recommend meditation. The accumulated effect works. It isn't a magic bullet, however I must note that I have been meditating more consistently over the past couple of weeks, and the urges have been low.

Confident, I wish for you plenty of smile moments that fill you with warmth all through your beautiful tresses!

Stickers everywhere! You have this! One moment at a time!

Hugs!

Thank you for all you do for all of us here, and know we're your tress trust team!

Yes, I believe in meditation..it really works! I also like to use affirmations daily when starting the day and ending the day. Some to try: I can handle whatever comes my way. Challenges bring opportunities. Today I will see things through a positive lens. I can accomplish anything. Every day I'm going to get better and better. I am in charge of my life. I am strong and the universe is my unlimited reservoir of energy. I choose happiness.
Take one day at a time- thinking positive will help your mind to focus on what is going right in your life. (((HUGS)))

Thanks so much Phoebe, mid and nabby. Beautiful and very helpful advice as always, I'm so lucky to have you in my life.

Meditation - yes. I have a guided meditation cd in my car, must get it out.

Stickers - still haven't made that sticker chart.

Speaking to my therapist yesterday helped. He compared my pulling to sitting on the lounge after dinner and not washing up the dishes. For me, my pulling is minimal, yet chronic. Me pulling is really an act of laziness. I mustn't expect perfection however. If I "wash the dishes after dinner" 4 days a week, that's great.

100% pf is great, but not necessarily realistic. I might make it a numbers game. Figure out an average amount of hairs I'd pull in a day. Say that number is 20. 4 hairs a day is 80% pull free. And 4 days in a week pf is successful (as long as the 3 days I do pull, it's only 4 hairs or less a day). And 5 days pf is better and 6 & 7 are awesome!

Thoughts?


awesome. Thoughts?

Didn't mean to write that last "awesome. Thoughts?" bit. Soz.

Hm maybe 4 is too high..

So maybe..
- I can pull up to 3 hairs a day, up to 3 days a week, and still be successful.
- maybe a star sticker for a pf day, a smiley sticker for a day where 1-3 hairs are pulled, and a very special sticker for the end of a successful week. Then maybe a super duper special sticker for reaching a successful month.
- and maybe EXTRA incredible stickers for reaching 100% pf weeks and months.

I'd have to have an index on my chart, lolz.

Numbers, percentages, charts... You are my kinda gal!! It is fun to make it a game & it is a wonderful device for achievement.

It sounds like you just have to trick yourself into behaving differently. Take making the bed.... I have trained myself to make the bed before I do anything in the morning, except maybe pee, and sometimes not even that. Now it is a no-brainer. If I don't do it, the day doesn't feel right.

Break the link. xo

Hehe, yes making it into a game, competition etc is always fun.

I think you're right about the tricking thing. I have the capacity to do it, it's just gathering the energy/willpower to resist that I struggle with. That's why games etc help me I guess.

HAHA about bed, hmmm. I do that occasionally too. I guess that's what I need to work on, my consistency.

I wonder what you think about something Phoebe. Do you think perhaps "releasing a bit of steam" every now and then is the way to go. It's something accepting used to always say and do. Pulling one hair or so every now and then to relieve the pressure. It's something my therapist suggested also.. I'm really curious to know how you feel about this..

PS, DREW UP MY CHART! But I'm seriously annoyed I can't find all the stickers I want. Gahhh.

I totally support not expecting perfection and setting more realistic goals. Counting consecutive PF days is so hard because even if you do great for months, you have to start back at zero if you pull just ONE freaking hair.

I use my sticker chart to calculate the % of PF days each month...I try to keep it above 90%. BUT...if I pull more than 3 hairs in one day, I automatically give myself a failing "grade" for the month, because if I've pulled more than 3 I've just lost control. One or two can legitimately be just an accident or subconscious.

I also make notes on my sticker chart for days to show urges I've resisted and what situations caused me to pull. Helps me find patterns to avoid.

I like to think of rewards for myself for big milestones....like a totally PF month or however many consecutive PF days, too.

You are doing awesome!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like you have a great system in mind, too!!

I really like your system. Except I think that maybe if I pulled more than 3 in one day I'd drop down to just a distinction for that week. Or if it was quite a bit, a pass. Or if it was heaps, a fail I guess! I just don't know about giving myself a bad grade for the whole month because of one day. Hm.. I don't know.

I wonder how many hairs I pull on a bad day. Does anyone know their tally? I've never counted. I'd say in the past year or so, for me my worst might be 40? That's honestly a guess. I wonder if it's more.. I don't think so.

Well I'm doing well so far today, but I've only been up for an hour.

Oh Manda, I have a question, so you're allowed 3 hairs a day. If you pull those 3 do you count it as a pull free day?

Didn't explain myself well, maybe. No, I'm allowed 3 hairs a day on my absolute worst day. If I pull 1 - 3 hairs, I give myself an X instead of a sticker on my chart for that day. If I pull more than 3 in a day, I just X out the whole month because that is what qualifies as a pulling spree for me. So stickers equal being totally pull free.

I like what you are saying about not wanting one bad day to ruin a whole month...maybe crossing out a week instead is better. We should challenge ourselves but still set attainable goals that give us the ability to feel success and see progress...I am trying to equate how I "grade" my PF tally to how I grade my students' work - fairly and with understanding, but strictly.

I like the ongoing analogies, noticing the ongoing blocks, barriers, and obstacles that we face with this disorder, and in our daily lives. How it comes to pass if the glass is half empty or half full- are both gateways to possibility?
Acknowledge the frustrations, anxiety, fear and anger associated with current situation and tap into inner resources and support from friends, family, community, and professionals.
Unconditionally love the part of you that is suffering-listen to what the wounded part of you is feeling and what you need. From a deeper, wider, connected center of your adult perspective, love that part of you.
Ask, "What do I want?" and listen to the answer.
Waking from life on automatic and appreciating what you do have.
Detaching and letting go of the way you think things should be and be present to what is.
Taking Action.
Letting go of high expectations of ourselves and thinking we are failures when we don't meet those expectations this way of thinking effects our happiness.
So whenever you are feeling disappointed, ask yourself, "What do I want in this situation?" If you have an expectation, experiment with this: Trust that when you declare a clear intention the path is to its fulfillment is being illuminated step-by-step.
I still believe in the one-day-at-a-time...
Hugs, Everyone.

Oh I see. I've always been that strict but I'm trying something new now (obviously.. this is what we're talking about). I do like how you equate it to grading.

1-3 hairs pulled in a day = smiley sticker
0 hairs pulled in a day = star sticker
7 smiley/smiley + star stickers in a row = little animal sticker = little reward
7 star stickers in a row = big animal sticker = medium reward
30 smiley/smiley + star stickers in a row = dress sticker = big reward
30 star stickers in a row = shoes sticker = biggest reward

Sorry to keep repeating my system over and over but I'm refining it as I go, and I guess I'm partly saying it to myself as well as you guys.

Interesting as always Nabby! I have to say, I'm trying :)

I pulled 3 little loose hairs yesterday, so I got a smiley sticker! I did my best to be 100% pf, but I pulled those hairs without realising first.

I've pulled 1 hair so far today, just now actually while writing this post.

Thanks for your comments xx

I love your system & your magnificent nerdness.

What are your big rewards? I am thinking mine might be highlighting my hair red when I feel the regrowth looks "normal" enough.