Brockster.
You make so much sense. As well as everyone else here.

Why is it someone like my brains thoughts are far out there at times , worry thoughts like off the charts. Overthinking is my hobby. I don’t want to pay attention. I really don’t.

I discovered a great website much like DS used to be. 7Cups.com has free sharing circles, relaxation exercises, readings, trained Listeners, and even real therapy for a fee (not cheap). I have been in some sharing circles, We have 7 minutes in our turn. I have also posted in support groups.

It sounds like today would be a good day to take one of your benzos for anxiety and then let it help you relax a bit so you can get off the anxiety treadmill that is going on in your brain.

I agree with some of the others that getting outside is helpful. Maybe go for a short walk to get out some of the nervous energy.

Try not to look at the whole day, just chunks of time as that will help make it less overwhelming.

And, return here as much as you need for support.

Thank you seaglass. Yes I have taken medication today. I’m so overwhelmed that I had to wait until my next dose then take again and that’s when I started to come down to earth.

Thank you everyone for support and suggestions.
Its like I start feeling better around dinner hour. Then I get anxiety toward bedtime only because I want to be able to sleep.
This has been a long day.

And I do go about my day as hard as it is. I don’t stay in bed or even stay in the house. I do have two dogs so they actually force me outside. And I do any errands etc. I may feel like crap doing my stuff but I do it.

Good job, Marian! You made it through the day. See.. anxiety and panic didn't win... You won.

I do think going back on the Lexapro might be a good idea. Then you would have a steady stream of anti-anxiety medication 24 hours a day, and then you can take the benzos as needed.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Maybe write down some things tonight, that you can look forward to doing tomorrow. Examples - making a coffee drink that you like, taking the dogs out... but for a run this time, working on a scrapbook you've been putting off, cleaning out your clothes closet..... Just anything that will help take your mind off the anxiety and that you have written down tonight and ready to start tackling first thing in the morning.

Often, we get into a rut or habit of waking up with anxiety, that we almost expect it to happen. And that is the vicious cycle. By changing it up (making a new list of things to do when you wake up), you can break that vicious cycle.

You can do this!

Marian your thoughts and resulting feelings aren’t going to stop on their own. You have to do it, that’s why the method is important. It helps you to separate yourself from them and remain neutral to them so you aren’t constantly reacting to them. It desensitizes you to them. At some point you have got to realize that you have to do something positive about your situation. No one can do it for you and there are no quick fixes. I’ve been right where you are, I know. It takes time to start feeling better, it won’t happen overnight or in a couple weeks. But it can happen, this I also know, cause it is happening to me. I am feeling better more now than for the last 40 years of my life. If I can do it, after a lifetime of anxiety, others can do it too.

Oh no! It’s morning again.
But thank you all for trying to help me.
I’m not as strong as you’re making me out to be.
I’m not sure where to go from here.
It’s too much. Just too much.

When I wake up like this I wish I was somewhere where someone could just take care of me. Sounds ridiculous. I’m a grown woman who raised children. I have so much responsibility right now. But I really do. I want someone to take care of me. I hate this.

Not everyone has someone who will take care of them. In fact I suspect most people suffer in silence. That’s the reality. Pining for someone to take care of you is understandable but it does nothing to help your situation. In fact I think it keeps you stuck, this wishing. Set those thoughts aside so you can propel yourself forward.

When you say you hate this, this is where you can accept it rather than automatically judge it and apply negativity to it. Our mind set and attitude is solely a choice in my opinion. Now if there is clinical depression involved that may hinder your mind set. In that case it might make sense to contact your psych nurse so you can start helping yourself.

We are about the same age. I don’t have parents anymore nor kids. My life hasn’t always been easy. I don’t know anyone whose life has. And yet I live a nice life, because I choose it, every day, even when things are hard. You have a good amount of life to live. No one will live it for you. Take some control.

rmb you are right. And I know I’m being unrealistic to say I want someone to take care of me.
I don’t think depression is involved, even though I do want to cry at times, and here is why. If you brought my kids home tomorrow for a week I would not be be feeling this way.
I don’t believe depression is something you can just snap in and out of depending on the circumstances. If you’re depressed you generally don’t want to do anything. I would give anything to have a house full of people.

Rmb I give you so much credit for how you accept and are able to not only live your life but enjoy it , as it should be.
May I ask, and obviously you don’t have to answer. Did I take medication to get you where you are today?

Also. Another comment I have and question for anyone who has answers.
When you go through your anxiety , do you have problems and issues to go along with it. ?

You see I have so many worries of things going on.
So that is my problem here.

How do you just put these things aside and not worry about them?

The way I've heard it, and think about it, is this. If you're reacting to a situation, that's stress or fear. If you're just feeling without specific reasons why, that's anxiety.

This is why you can't "solve" anxiety. You can't figure out the cause and fix it. It's just there. It's the brain worrying and catastrophizing and creating drama because that's what the brain does. It thinks and it wants to keep the focus on those thoughts by making them dramatic and sticky. Resisting those thoughts by trying to push them away, or engaging with them by trying to solve things just feeds the cycle.

There's a great quote from the Dalai Lama. I'm not saying I live this by any stretch of the imagination, but it something to think about and aspire to.

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

Thank you for this. I have problems for sure. To be honest they are difficult to have conclusion. I mentioned the one many times with my son and the sport and he transferred. We’ll be seems very happy, but this is where my husband comes in who is unhappy and said he will NEVER except my sons decision. (And I , me, am to blame). So this to me is an ongoing event in our household which is only going to get worse once the sport starts up and my son is playing a lower level in college.
So this is what I mean. I guess I have to go by the “it isn’t fixable so no benefit in worrying”.

Yup... so much easier said than done, but that's it. It sounds like anticipatory anxiety around expectations of what might happen without even knowing what that those things are. That's something I am intimately familiar with. Something I did the last time I was dealing with that, just a couple weeks ago, actually, was to tell myself, "feeling this way is normal" and, when I started to dwell on it I'd literally say "shhhhhh" to my mind. Sort of, "I hear you, but you're not saying anything useful, so shhhhhh. It's going to be okay."

The core of anxiety is a lack of self confidence. We never learned to believe in ourselves. Your feelings of wanting someone to take care of you Is stemming from your inability to cope right now. It’s a very normal feeling. We all feel it from time to time. I’m very guilty myself. But I understand why I feel this way, so I can let it go and stay focused on my recovery. Hint! Think about it. So don’t beat yourself up over it, accept that you feel this way, it’s ok. As you recover and your confidence builds, you won’t feel this way forever.