taking moment by moment thanks..atleast your dr is finally making moves to improve your health darknessemb!

Yes at least the doctors are trying to figure out what's going on. Just wish results didn't take so long and sometimes it takes a long time to get scans/ultrasounds. etc.. done. Glad you are well.

I'm so sad and down today. All I can think about is how my son and daughter are gone and not here with me. It's a painful time full of sad memories and I don't know how to get through it without them. I'll be crying a lot in a few days. I'm so down that I'm physically sick. All I did was cry when I found the dress I wore last year. It's so upsetting.

Hollywood perhaps buying a couple small toys or books and donating them in your babies honor might help you somehow

flopping by-well when you feel like a rag doll :)

hoppy new ear ..hic hic

Here is hoping the new year brings better health and a safe year

I'm down again today. I miss my son and daughter and someone tried to say it's not right we stuffed stockings for my babies who "aren't here". To me it was the only thing that helped me. I gave birth to them late this month last year and I should get to do the things I would have gotten to do had they been here. I'm just tired of being treated like loss is some kind of moral obligation to help others when that's all I do. I donate so much to charities I really shouldn't be. I am unable to volunteer and don't really feel like it because I've got lots of doctors appointments and a constant work schedule. The person that told me to give to the angel tree when I wasn't able to afford it instead of fill stockings for babies who "aren't there" don't even donate anything and don't know what it's like to loose a baby. They also said its a "bad idea" to continue the one tradition that gets us through with some kind of comfort with trying to somehow remember them each holiday as our children (because they were and I went through a painful birth and vomited the whole time for nothing). I have talked to someone online. They do this even though they have more kids. They see no problem with it and neither do we. I don't get it. We just agree to do something as a couple people think we a "grieving wrong". There's no "wrong" way to grieve. I don't even think there's a "better" way to grieve if you are getting through and I mean no one is physically wounded or anything by that personal choice to make it through. Why would this be so wrong to be doing tradition as if they are there. I'm not crazy and don't need anyone to rub in they aren't alive again and I'm not doing enough. I'm doing everything I can. My life and my body have changed to where they are different. I'm not the same anymore. But they are here in spirit and I have a right to think that. I have a right to go about ways to get through things the best way I know how. I just want to vent and get that out there for anyone who's going through simalar situations and to bring awareness to it. I miss them and I deserve to grieve in the ways I choose to.
I'm having asthma issues feel sick and am pretty emotional right now. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I know the feeling of others sitting in judgment of how we honor our loved ones past-but it is our own personal business-and what we need to do for ourseolves! Basically tell the others to mind their own businesses-our actions does not affect them!

checking in with my check mark

Just checking in.

me too :)

me back -can't get rid of me

guess who-the jelly bean hunter getting prepared

checking in

Hi, sorry I haven't been on much! I am on my period which makes my GI symptoms and pain worse.