alantm
Status: just lost ...looked a lot..and no paths ..im lost
Mood:
Bad
Offline
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back from the job thing in some ways i did ok i had some leg problems but worked round it or hid it i feel like.... i didnt do that well ithink i did ok i just think i could have been better it...
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thinking about the i's its was the lists of how i feltall the things at the time that i was facingall the feelings every line started with ithen followed by something horrible about myselfor...
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im up early its because i have this job thing and i dont want to mess upi dont feel stressed but something inside must be feeling stupid and embaressed todaystopping the i thing is really making me...
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its the first day of the new work tomorrow i wish i felt more up to itim feeling very down fucking i's in line all over the place arnt helping its like ive given up control im alone or hurt from...
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in the big picture of time my life meens nothing its just a flash so small and its gonein the big picture its nothing you would not even see it as a flash the only thing that is anything while here...
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i feel left or alone or what ever the state ive had very few people in my life so its very hard to see a time of something new im getting older and roses are not so sweet anymore they are just...
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to think of all the suffering i have gone though for women i loved just to end up by myself and them never give me a second thoughtis just un beileveable all that effort and scriffice and suffering...
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iiiiiiiii
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Ok i's its only me that thinks about this so if i decide to change its ok being odd about it is just odd thats allso i need to change i feel a bit vuarable about it but i will cope its some thing...
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thinking about the i's im feel a bit embarressed about trying to stop .its like if im seen listing them in a normal waypeople will laugh or snigger that i am seen trying to do it ho look hes...
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bridges when im near a bridge i always think myself going over the raileven when driving past i picture what it would feel like to be falling from iti start to not trust myself because its so...
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im taking on to many things really need to back off talking but i feel like i need to look at some things while i can
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i's in linesthat stared at the time i came here = life totaly f cked again i still get quite a hate feeling when i think of it the i's
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why am i talking about self harm well its something i have had to think aboutfor a lot of years i havent been a self harmer for years ,i had a small fall a while agobut its something you end up...
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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EnuMT1DxQek
dd