obtain

My daughters have gone home.  Their dad came thru by pass surgery okay.  I have such mixed feelings.  I am glad their dad is going to be okay but Ron is gone.  Why did't he get a chance to...

Saturday my daughters's father (first husband) had a heart attack.  I am watching grandchildren so they can be with him.  He is having bypass surgery.  It has taken me out of my own self pity...

Today I just have been upset all day. Do not like this feeling.

A man piled up into the driveway, he has sealed our driveway before.  He asked for ron.  Told him he died 2 months ago today.  An older woman in the truck with him was his mom.  She told me her...

Two months today.  I don' know what I am feeling.  

I went for a medical test today and made it without a break down or crying.  Now I am home again with nothing to do.  Warm weather cannot come fast enough.  I need to get out but don't know where...

Yesterday was the gauntlet of emotions.  Calm one minute, crying, mad, so sad, despair, scared,frustrated at myself and others,not being able to concentrate.   Today I am going to be more...

Today I went to Walmart with no tears.  Checked with Arnett's, said he mailed Ron's 1099 a week ago.  I know he is lying but can not figure out why.when I got home the horse haulers called for pick...

After church my daughter invited me for lunch.  Tried to be upbeat but had to stay quiet.  Went home to feel sorry for myself.  I called a friend that I hadn't seen in years but she came to the...

Getting ready for church.  My feelings right now are very mixed up.  no happy, not devasted, just very numb.

Cleaned out Ron's truck, washed my car.  Now I am having another melt down.  Wish I could get a grip on my emotions.  I'm just overwhelmed with everything, the farm, horses,barn needs work,...

Yesterday was the first day I didn't lose it.  I think the responses from my post helped me that day.  I took care of my 11 year old grand daughter and did not cry or breakdown.  When my daughter...

Seven weeks!  I don' know how to help myself.  This is bad.  I am worse today.  I am doing the right things like support group, prayer. I've lost my best friend, husband.  We were kind of loners...

Today is bad.  Why am I having so much trouble? Support group Monday was good for me.  Yesterday I just stayed in my chair all day so today I made myself clean and dust.  I am about halfway thru...

Last night was my second support meeting.  I had to make myself go but I am glad that I did.  I still cried through most of it.  No one looks at you funny or asks if you are okay.  Isn't that...