Alone

My daughters have gone home.  Their dad came thru by pass surgery okay.  I have such mixed feelings.  I am glad their dad is going to be okay but Ron is gone.  Why did't he get a chance to survive.  I know that I am just sitting in this house alone.  I have looked into volunteer groups but I live in such a rural area. retired 2 months before Ron died. Live on a farm, no close neighbors, Ron was my whole life.  I will have to change something just haven't figured it out yet.  I checked out a couple of volunteer ads but they wanted money which I don't have now.  I have been here on this farm 38 years.  Leaving is so scary.