Alliegator

I'm fat.  I feel bad that I have let my bf down by being gross.  He tells me I am beautiful but I think he is lying.

I have been pretty good today.  I had a minor bit of anxiety at work, but after about an hour it was gone.  I am worried about when I go to bed though.  Everything gets worse at night, and laying...

It hurts it hurts it hurts.  I am trying so desperately to find something to grab onto.  Pull me out of this.  Pull me up please.

I haven't felt this down and overwhelmed in a very very long time.  I don't know what to do with all of this emotional pain I am dealing with.  It just hurts.  I am having panic attacks pretty...

I'm trying to lose some weight.  It has actually been working a little.  I don't know how much I see the results but the scale says it is coming off little by little.  I wish I could be a little...

I am so fucking fat.  I don't know how I could possibly have let this happen to me.  Since November I have gained so much weight.  My butt and hips like exploded.  I don't fit in my clothes very...

I can't seem to stop crying.  The littlest things will send me into tears.  I sob every day even though I am happy.  I just don't understand what is going on!

I don't understand why I keep getting depressed lately.  I know it is winter which is hard for me but I have such a good life going on right now that I feel like I should be happy.  My boyfriend is...

My best friend is annoying me so much lately.  I just can't handle her not eating and everything.  There are a lot of other little things that just piss me off for some reason.  I don't understand...

I am sooooo confused.  And stressed.

starting tomorrow I am going to get back on track.  I am going to start eating more regularly and stop drinking sooooo much.  I have really pushed my limits lately and it has to be really bad for...

I think that deep down in my heart I am a party girl.  I have to control that so much because of school and my friends but whenever I am in the perfect situation it always comes out hard core.  I...

Sorry I have been sort of MIA lately.  I have been pretty busy and exhausted. I think I might be on the edge of hypomania so I will potentially be very active soon. 

I hate guilt.

Why do I keep doing these things to myself?  I am a horrible friend.