Alliegator

Well I finally started working on my paper.  It has been assigned since the first day of the quarter and due tomorrow.  I mean I only waited 10 weeks to do it.  nbd right?  Haha.  Oh welllll....

I have been thinking about this cutting thing a lot today.  I have talked to my friends and listened to all of you who are supporting me.  I didn't realize how in denial I was.  Cutting didn't...

I just re-read my journal post from last night.  I didn't even remember writing it when I woke up this morning.  That happens a lot when I am on ambien.  Anyway, I had no idea how bad I was.  I...

Writing a journal entry while I am on ambien may not be the best idea.  But here it goes.  I cut again today it is much worse than yesterdays cuts.  I have 6 bad ones and 4 oka ones on my hip and...

I just cut.  :(  I have only cut twice in the past year and a half.  I just want to keep doing it.  I think I am falling apart.

Anorexia keeps trying to pull me back.  I keep switching between letting it win and restricting and knowing I need to eat normally.  I am just trying to keep in mind all of the negative...

So I really don't feel like writing a long journal right now, but just to update the situation... I finally got to see Brad in the hospital yesterday.  He is looking pretty good.  He is tired a...

I'm at my best friend's house now.  Her mom is staying in the hospital with her dad, Brad, tonight.  She is a mess.  Her boyfriend came over too and we all hung out for awhile.  We did a really...

I just found out my best friend's dad who is basically my second dad is getting open heart surgery on Monday.  I don't really know much other than I think he needs a triple bypass.  He doesn't...

I may be starting a hypomanic episode.  I really hope not though.

I feel horrible.  I am so stressed out about school.  I have been working my ass off spending 6 hours a day in the library.  I just couldn't do it today.  I have a midterm tomorrow that I feel...

Ugh.  I can't sleep.  I think it is because I am so stressed out.  At least this gives me time to work on homework but I am going to be soooooooooooo tired in class tomorrow.  I'm not entirely...

I have been pretty productive today even with all of the random homework breaks.  Hopefully this continues!