Zemphyra

I hide behind a smile so no one will seeA little lost girl, and that girl is meThe torment inside is now mere scarsFake memories explained to those who askBut what I felt then can never fadeNo time...

This disease makes it impossible to have friends... I'm too touchy, too insecure, too sensitive to everything around me. Wrote some verses to a song and this is what I came up with: Brought into...

I have made an awesome new friend and I am very grateful. 

It’s hard to be alone. To live your life on the sidelines while everyone around you is moving onto happier things. Getting married, having children, creating a family. I’m 28 years old and what...

I've never been good at keeping a diary. For one I always look back what I've written and felt ashamed or embarrassed that things could be so bad. The thoughts that sometimes go through my head are...

This entry is probably going to be a bit of a downer so I apologise in advance, but I am trying to keep an entry every day so here goes. I've always had a huge self esteem problem. I don't really...

So it's been a week since I've traded in the 'ole Lovan and switched to Avanza. I've been on Avanza before, but I don't remember whether it worked well or not. It was like 7 or 8 years ago and I was...

Laying here listening to Eminem's Mockingbird. So much has happened but I'm pushing myself to get better. Trying to date:  I joined a Christian online dating site. No replies yet but maybe they're...

I feel so empty... They say the hardest day is the first. It is and it isn't. The first day everything seems like a nightmare. When it starts to sink in, damn it hurts. Hot pokers to the chest,...

I feel so empty... So angry... Angry at myself, angry at God, angry at the people who owned the stupid dogs who mauled my dog, Odie. Odie... My best friend. Odie... who I'll never see ever again....

So, I guess it's update time. I'm at an internet cafe, which is cool because well, I'm not sure why it is, but it is. Nice environment, I guess. My "new" car is at the mechanic getting a general...

I’m really envious of those people who don’t have the responsibility of being a cat owner. I’m moving out of home in a few weeks and I’ve had to make the hardest decision to leave Salem...

I like the way 3 diazepam make me feel. I'm only supposed to take 2 but 3 give me that nice fuzzy feeling. I know I have some sort of addiction to the tablets, but why shouldn't I be able to have a...

I've decided after much thought that I'm going to voluntarily be an inpatient of a psychiatric ward. I'm scared. Mostly because it means being away from my cats and dog for who knows. But I just...

I almost ended my life today. I mean I really tried. I wanted it to be over. I sit here now and I still want to. This pain is just too great.The only thing that stops me is what if I try and I still...