Bluone

As of late I am losing days...i forget passwords to even unlock my phone. Lose stuff, forget who I am. My brain hurts. I have desires to fade away, end this struggle. Family sees , family...

If I can exist with this feeding tube...Period.

So I am still in the hospital, procedure to place feeding tube scheduled for Monday...I am a little apprehensive, but I know its for the best...I don't know how I will adjust to it, hopefully I...

Spent 6 days in hospital. Been out 6 days... aspirating into my lungs...with every drink...hell even mac n cheese...what a feeling. Going back tomorrow.... I give up.  I surrender..Don't know what...

I see no validity to life...just a roller coaster ride from hell, with no escape but death. And death is hard to obtain, at least for me...Hopefully something changes, hopefully......

I tried to ring in the New year right by being dead... failed again...4 failures in a year.... getting closer.    now I gotta be on oxygen 24/7... no real explanation other than I just wanted...

A lot of thinking....a lot of soul searching...back on DS. Voices behind the screen...I have discovered I can't take these pills.. Cause I can't hurt two people. one I know , one is a voice behind a...

It's not pride damaging enough to have to beg the Muscular Dystrophy Association for crutches. But weeks go by and you call and call because you never them. but then you get a call and get told , oh...

Physically I am a little better but mentally I just feel stagnant. Nothing seems to change...Words are said, interpreted, and fade...So I fake a smile and push to continue for some reason, that I...

Absolutely no comment.

What a day of failure. Dell down repeatedly. busted my forehead open in 3 places. why the blood bothered me is strange, being a cutter. I loved the blood when I cut, but i didn't enjoy seeing blood...

(Sounds without a face=My DS friends who cared when i couldnt.THE FINAL CUT Friday, August 7, 2009 | A Poem/Artistic storyLOST ON THIS ROAD,NO ROAD SIGNS IN SIGHT.SCARED AND ALONE,TRYING TO MAKE IT...

                                    WORDS ON A SCREEN,                                     PARTS OF MY...

The Picture Have you ever looked at a picture Of someone you barely know? Only to feel your drawn closer, Confusing, for reasons unknown. Each day you look at the picture, Emotions arise from deep...

How can I turn off these damn thoughts . The voices all say die. relentless, loud, constant. when I took Wellbutrin for 6 days, I had to stop as it increased the voice activity. I think of death...