Am I losing my mind?

As of late I am losing days...i forget passwords to even unlock my phone. Lose stuff, forget who I am. 

My brain hurts. I have desires to fade away, end this struggle. Family sees , family ignores...dont know what's gonna happen. 

I know I have poison now, don't remember how I got it or why. But it has appeared and I remember parts of what I did to secrete the poison from its original state. Thanks Google. 

But I havnt taken it, it scares me. But I can't dispose of it either. I don't know why I can't.

I 'll probably lose it anyways. Just like my last phone I encrypted but forgot the passwords to even use the phone.

That was right after my stroke. Nothing's been right since then, or if it has been right, I don't remember

I am ready to give up