What are you trying to accomplish ? And no I wouldn't trust any web site.

As I stated in my post " it would be nice to meet someone local to go out for coffee with, etc." I was with my husband 24/7 for many years and his death has left a vacuum in my life.

Janni,

Yes, online dating is scary. THere are plenty of jerks out there and some of them are dangerous. Still, it is very unlikely that any man (nice, safe, or whatever) is going to come knocking at your door. You have to become part of the world in some way. I am on POF (free site). It had a bad reputation for attracting sexual idiots, but the owner/designer just revamped a month or so ago and the new safeguards seem really to have helped. Bottom line, you are in control. You do not have to respond to anyone, and you can cut off anyone that upsets you. My suggestion . . . try simply posting a profile and tell yourself that you will only communicate in writing for a short period . . .if the man gets too impatient, then he was not the right man. I have one man that I write to on the site and will never meet as he has too many health issues. Still, I really enjoy writing back and forth with him as he is very intellegent, very well read, and has a sense of humor. I have actually met one or two of the men, one was so dull it was sad, the other was a little too interested in talking about sex, but did tone it down when I objected. Bottom line, you do not have to actually met anyone. Safe way to test the water. Why not set up a second email account for only your dating profile responders . . . Put no personal information on that account and there will be no danger of hacking, etc. Just a thought. You are right to be scared. Yet, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Middle ground of wise, prudient, self-protective activism is best. Put your toe in the water . . . you can always draw it back out. just protect your personal information on line as you would in person. Keep us posted on what you decide to do.

Life is risky. You won't what you want without some effort and some risk.

Get to know the person. Learn what makes them happy and sad. Learn about what they value and don't value Learn what the person is like AS a person. Keep on talking. The kee is how does he act on a consistant basis over time? After awhile you may come to be able to trust the person. Let the Relationship blossom, as like a flower. And if ever you decide to meet don't go and meet him alone the first time or two. Go with somebody and meet in a public place like a donut shop for example. Some guys may already have rented a motel room and want you for sex only. Why you need to be with others among other reasons until he has prooved himself trustworthy .

I own and run websites (not dating ones ) but I have had to investigate them regularly for articles on my sites. So I can probably help you. There are various types of sites. The ones you can trust from the point of view of the site itself are the free ones. The most popular is plentyoffish because it costs you nothing, so you will not be getting people who pretend to be other clients to get you to sign on again etc. But you will get people who are not genuine on all sites. I have come across them on gransnet, mumsnet, sagazone etc because the sites are too busy to check out each person who goes on there and anyway people can lie.

With penfriend sites - which might suit you - you can specific which countries you wish to hear from and you can also stipulate males or females and age group, hobbies etc. You can go to most penfriend sites free. You may be better off searching for a local woman friend (straight) because most men find it hard to be platonic friends with a woman and start to want more and move on if it is not forthcoming. Some men will pretend they want to be a friend when really they are after sex. So be cautious. And some will be married or with someone already and pretending to be single. So if it comes to meeting I would make sure you have their address, home phone number etc and check it all out with no excuses (typical excuses are "I don't have a landline, only a mobile" or "I am always out so no point in you ringing me at home" or never being able to talk evenings and weekends - cause they are at home with wife and kids. Use some common sense! If the guy goes on about wanting photos and asks your measurements etc then he is after sex.
Set up an email account which is safe and especially for this. Do not tell people all of your business. If they know you are lonely you become a target for this and that. Pretend you have a lot more friends than you do if you meet anyone. Get busy with some great hobbies and join as many sites as you can and wait for things to happen. I found the best way was to make a few friends and see them different times rather than concentrating on just one person.

I am in a similar situation to you. I was in a long term relationship and he died. I would love to have someone for a cup of coffee and a chat, a meal out etc. I found the men always wanted sex (I told them to save up their pension money until they could afford a trip to the brothel). You may be luckier. Hope you are happier now.

Just an update. I met a great guy on POF. We are dating regularly now. We have lots of things in common, similiar interests, similiar politics, unbelievable ichemistry, etc. Life is good. I would never have met him if I had not gone on line. Remember, you are in control . . . you can cut off anyone who seems to have too much drama or trauma. Prince Charming does not make house calls. It is all in the numbers . . . risk safely. Good luck.

You can trust the free sites, they have nothing to gain by trying to get you to stay on there for a lot longer. The others use tricks to get you to pay to renew your membership.

There are also specific sites for specific things such as dog lovers,
gays, friends only with no sex etc. You would have to google whatever it is you are looking for. I tried some of the sites that are supposedly for platonic friendship only and they are good and don't cost anything but found that the people were either too young or too old and we had nothing in common and they lived much too far away. But you might have more luck. And it costs nothing so why not? But beware of some of the people on them, some are not honest etc.

I think they are risky like everything else in life. Just be careful when meeting anyone. Have a friend present,nearby. It's ok to want to spend time with someone. It's just that a lot of older men are still chasing their youth by chasing young women. I always had issues with younger men chasing me( which I didn't want). People are always saying that they want to find someone honest and family oriented but don't know how true that is????????????????? Just be very careful. Do you have friends you can spend time with?

I have already noted that I am in a wonderful new relationship with a man I meet through a free site. Just wanted to add . . . when I was still dating "new" people . . . I would email a girlfriend all the info that I had on the new man . . . name, email, phone number, where we were meeting, etc. That way, at least someone knew something about who I was meeting for coffee. Remember, you are in control at least until you actually meet the guy . . . you can decide whether you want to take that step or not. Test the waters and see if you are even interested or not. Good luck. Stay safe. Be smart. Be choosy.

You remember the shooting in Arizona movie theater? The crazed man with the dyed red hair? He had a profile on Match.com !!! I also am leery of the dating sites. I go on BBWsinglesplace for fun but am hesitant to meet in person. I've decided to take back an old boyfriend of mine from many years ago. He's got issues (who doesn't these days?) but it's "better the devil I KNOW than the devil I don't know." Good luck, blessings. Sorry for your loss.

i think it is dangerous to meet people online, many of them can be criminals or use you for money, so i check the person here http://radaris.com/, to avoid surprises...

If you are a guy, you have a huge disadvantage on those dating sites. There are far more men on those sites then women. I have been a member of many of them and an insider told me that on average, I need to write 100 messages to women, just to get one reSponse.

I don't have the time to write hundreds of letters to women with the hopes of finding my soulmate. I would have to quit my job!

So I put my future happiness in God's Hands. If someone comes my way who I have alot in common with, that's fine, if not, I am fine with that too.

God Bless!

You need to be careful while dating online. It is best to interact for sufficient time online and meet only at public places initially.
Check out http://datingsiteguide.org

Well, I'm gonna try SeniorPeopleMeet.com anyway.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.