Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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/ Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is part of my identity now

Albatross
Albatross

 I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings a week so I do talk to people. But some days I don't. 


I used to dream of being a loner. I wanted to live out in a cabin somewhere far away from everyone. I'm not exactly doing that now, but it's very close. And part of me likes it. I enjoy the solitude, going to bed early and getting up early. But I am lonely in the way that I'm homesick and I miss the people... I don't know if I love them or loved them. I have serious trouble with relationships, which is a main reason she told me to move out. 


Actually I do talk a lot, but it's to myself. 


Anyway, that's what's going on with me. 


How's everyone here?


 



JazzyLady
JazzyLady
Sorry, for your break up. What a difficult time for you. Whether it is a mutual agreement or not, that is a big change in life style. Maybe try a few different things to help deal with the lost. Journaling, listen to podcasts, exercise class and listening to music. Find what works for you. Remember to care for yourself. Hoping you find your way in this brave new world.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Your post really touched me. There was a time in my life when I lived alone, and I was terrified because I was alone for the first time in my life so I talked to myself and gave myself encouragement through everything I did during each new day. Over time, I discovered something unexpected. Those quiet conversations helped me find a place of love and acceptance within myself that I had been searching for in the outside world.

I still believe we need other people, but I also learned that being alone and being lonely aren't always the same thing.

What you wrote about feeling "homesick" really resonated with me. I think many of us know that feeling. Sometimes we're not just missing a person, we're missing a sense of belonging.

I was divorced after 24 years but over time, my ex and I became friends again and encouraged each other throughout many of life's problems. You have gone through a difficult season after 33 years but I hope, little by little, this time of solitude becomes a place of healing as well as grief. Wishing you peace on the journey.
billwfriend
billwfriend
I have lived alone for most of my adult life....I am 68yrs old now and have never had any kind of long term relationship beyond my immediate family of origin. I was short term married....I had a little longer term with a gal that is still in my life as a friend. I dated her for about 1 1/2-2yrs I do not remember....
other than that life living alone or some of it with a male roommate that was forced by the mental health place that was paying the rent....I grew out of that and became fully self supporting but it is a day to day struggle for me still....
MelT2020
MelT2020
I'm a family of one. Lost my husband in 2020. The guy I was on and off with has been emotionally abusive...so I think I'm done with him (it's been about a week). If you want face to face frie, maybe check out meetup.com or local support groups, and church activities
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Hi Albatross! I'm sorry that you are in this position. Have you thought of going to therapy? It sounds like you are making the best of what's going on. I live alone and actually love it. But I am very used to it. It would be a hard transition if I had been married for 33 years and had children. How old are your children? How long have you been separated for? Did you try marriage counseling? Do you belong to a church? Maybe you could talk to clergy? Anyway, we are here for you! Write anytime!
hasty_05
hasty_05
Welcome to this website. It is sometimes slow but a lot of nice people come on here and encourage each other. Click on the person's name and "friend" them to make more connections.

I too have loneliness creep up and into my soul every so often. I have had too many friends or acquaintances die in the last two years and also had some physical injuries that really limit my life. Now I feel so alone and then sorry for myself and the wave of loneliness hits.

Being separated and not seeing your kids every day can be a form of what is called ambiguous loss (google it). Divorce is like a death someone told me when I was getting divorced years ago. I was happy to be not living with that ex-husband yet also it was a death of the relationship and it affected my adult children negatively. So there is that sorrow within us. We just have to feel what we feel and learn to name our feelings.

Do you work, have a job? If not, that will help keep you busy.

I see a neighbor walking every day. I got out this morning for my 10 minute walk (all I can do before I have major pain) and saw her and made a point to say hello and we had a real conversation. I was shocked as most of my neighbors will not make eye contact nor talk. I showed her where I live.

I see her walking to the stores nearby and I realized she is probably fairly alone also. It is super hot here now and no one walks around if they have a car.
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