Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
Two men were driving through New Jersey when they got pulled
over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on
the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the
window and "WHACK," the cop smacked him in the head with his
nightstick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in New Jersey, son," the trooper answered. "When we
pull you over in New Jersey, you better have your license
ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer, " the driver said, "I'm from
Pennsylvania and didn't know your laws here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean
and gives the guy his license back. The trooper then walks
around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The
passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK,"
the trooper
smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the pas se nger demands.
< BR>"Just making your wish come true,"replied the trooper.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know you Pennsylvanians," the trooper says, "two
miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and
say..... 'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with
me!"
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years, I've never laughed at a
patient."
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeds to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size
of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor.
Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me.
On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.
Now then, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen." Ed replied.
Two old women talking over coffee happened upon the subject of sex and what they can do to excite their husbands. The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets her husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and putting both legs behind her head yoga style.
The second old woman thought that this was a great idea, so that night when her husband went in the bathroom to get ready for bed, she got totally naked and began the process of putting her legs behind her head. The first leg was kind of tough to put in place as she was a bit arthritic. However, she finally got it in place.
She had an even tougher time with the second leg, so she rocked herself backwards until she finally got it behind her head. However, she had rocked just a little too hard so that she flipped slightly backwards and got stuck with her butt sticking straight up in the air. It was just then that her husband came out of the bathroom "Gladys!" he exclaimed. "For heavens sake, comb your hair and put your teeth in ... You look like an asshole.
When you cry...
No one sees your tears.
Sometimes..
When you are in pain...
No one sees your hurt.
Sometimes...
When you are worried..
No one sees your stress.
Sometimes...
When you are happy..
No one sees your smile .
But FART!! Just ONE time...
And everybody knows!!
Gotcha!!
You thought it was going to be one of those heart-touching stories! GREAT BIG OLE GRIZZLY BEAR HUGGGZZZ..SQUISHHHHHHHHHH LOVE YALL.........OFF TO RUN ERRAND PLAY NICE YALL N IF YA DONT 8I WANT PICTURES LOL
1. THINGY (thing- ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul- ne- ra- bel) adj.
Female.... Ful! ly opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko- myoo- ni- kay- shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit- ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en- ter- tayn- ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach- u- lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self- expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may- king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri- moht kon- trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... MY device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.
AND FOR FUN;
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
put in it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while
I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
gave you? She said . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
paper? She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring
and Good-looking? She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is
every night? He said . . . A widow.
He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go
to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the
fridge.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO
THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went".
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!"
"Really? What happened" asked the doctor?"
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate! He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?"
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."
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Damn Tree Huggers
While walking through the Boulder Colorado woods a man came upon another
man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he
inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing? "I'm
listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You gotta
be kiddin' me."
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his
arms
around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this the other
guy,
slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys,
then
stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy
handcuffed to
the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?" He
told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he
finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy,
walked
around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "Man, this
just ain't gonna be your day cupcake..."
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A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few
occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone
rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see
this
psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the
subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog
moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the
telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel
chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number
was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then
urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to
ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and
moaning.
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Subject: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES;
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thoughts for the day:
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might
need them to empty your bedpan.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES......THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING......BUT......THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH
THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
Other than that be nice ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
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Upon reaching 65, old Tom decided to retire. After having him under foot
for a few months, his wife became very agitated
with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy him like join a
club or get a hobby.
Old Tom obliged and went out for a couple of hours. When he got home his
wife asked about his day and he replied, "Oh, I just went down to the
corner
bar and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club."
"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to start
parachuting?"
"Yeah, look I even got a membership card." "Old man, you need glasses!
This is a membership in a PROSTITUTE CLUB!"
"OH, GREAT! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I SIGNED UP FOR 5 JUMPS A WEEK!!"
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New drink!
>
>
>
> A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks.While they?re
sitting there having a good time together
she starts talking about this really great new drink.
>
>
>
>The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts
trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in
and lets her order the drink for him.
>
>The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar --
>
>A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.
>
>The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
>
>"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the
shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the
lime juice."
>
>So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
>
>He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK.
>
&g t;He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.
He >thinks - this is OK.
>
>Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.
>
>... In one second the sharp lime taste hits...
>... At two seconds the Baileys curdles
>... At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.
>
>This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to
disappoint >his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.
>
>When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says,
"Jesus, what do you call that drink?"
>
>She smiles widely at him and says............
>"Blow Job Revenge"
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DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side.Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Seniors having babies
Regarding fertility, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
''May we see the new baby?" one asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded to know why. "Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?"
"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put him."
THANKS
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death .
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would
like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two
drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to
buy you one, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with
two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity Why
the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to
hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue."
"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"
and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN .Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN ..Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face
"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as
you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN .You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of
by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN .."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take
any fiber today
"OLD" IS WHEN . "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking
lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN ...An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the
bathroom.
AND ... "OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes .
REMEMBER: Growing old is mandatory,
Growing up is optional.
previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to
'Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin'.
'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if
you've been married ten times?'
'Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept
telling me how great it was going to be.
'Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never
really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it
and get back with me.
'Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that
everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system
up.
'Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew
he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to
deliver.
'Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic
process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design
a new state of the-art method.
'Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he
knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
'Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a
product, he was never sure how to position it.
'Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
'Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
'Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did
was........... God I miss him.
' But now that I've married you, I'm so excited'.
'Wonderful', said the husband, 'but why?
'You're with the 'GOVERNMENT'.. This time I KNOW I'M
gonna get SCREWED.'
underwear.
'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivees?', Ole demanded.
'Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'
The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake
of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy you rself some underwear.'
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her
skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.
'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?'
She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's
a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt
over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?'
She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o
decency, here's a comb.....Tidy yerself up a bit.
"Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's
and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."