Also, I discussed this with my Brother thinking he could give me good feedback as a man and he said it seemed odd to him that I was not invited.

Who are these people that he spends Thanksgiving with? How much travel is involved in getting there?

I think you're placing too much emphasis on things too soon into this relationship. I think you're also letting these things weigh you down and affect your self-esteem, when they don't go the way you'd like to see them go. People are individuals and we all do things differently. Perhaps he's a bit superstitious, and does like you a lot, and doesn't want the relationship to go awry, and in his mind he's doing these things to protect the chances of having a long term relationship with you. Yet you're placing all of your stuff and insecurities onto him, and have an expectation of how he should react, and that's never good, because you will always be disappointed when you have expectations.

When your mind goes to these places, you need to find a way of shutting it down, and distracting yourself so that you can naturally allow this relationship to takes its course. Being invited for thanksgiving or not doesn't mean anything, and you are placing a lot of importance on it, just as you do the other things, like texts, like whether he invites you here or there, like how he sounds, etc. My best advice is to see your therapist so they can help you understand what you do, in order to stop yourself from sabotaging a relationship.

Distancing yourself from him, will send out the wrong signals, and he'll see you as high maintenance, and that's never attractive. Think light and lively, and if it develops from there great, if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. Support him in his thoughts, tell him to go and enjoy the Thanksgiving, tell him I hear Paris is lovely at that time of year, how wonderful for you. When he asks what you're doing for Thanksgiving, don't pout and say things to make him feel guilty. Tell him you'll probably have a wonderful time with some friends, etc. Saying the things you mention, comes across as insecure and clingy. One of my favourite sayings, and I think it applies here well, is to be the person you want to be with.

I wish you well.

@LLB they are a married couple he has known since college, it is a 5 hour trip by car.

@Lenoire I guess the Thanksgiving thing is maybe not too big a deal but the Paris thing is for sure odd. If he did not invite me to that I think that would be very telling.
He asked me a direct question about Thanksgiving, I did not pout I just answered it honestly.
But you are right I am putting too much emphasis on his every action.

The Paris thing may be because if he invites you he may feel obligated to pay, which would be a big deal. That's a lot of pressure on a new relationship.

Oh lord, I Hope he does not think that. I would pay my own way for sure! He knows I make good money and that I could afford it.

I'm just saying that could be a reason. I don't know for sure. I think inviting people to things, at least back in the day when people were civilized and practiced etiquette, meant you accommodated the expenses when you extend an invitation. But I realize this isn't 1952 so that was just a theory on my part, not like I actually know what his motives are.

Here's what I think. You should take a trip, on your own. Different topic entirely, but you might be surprised how enjoyable that can be.

I know it was just a thought RMB, I hope I didn't come across as being offended, it was not my intent. But you are right, he may feel like he can't invite me if he can't pay. I never thought of that.

I would love to go somewhere tropical for about 4 days........that would be great! :)

No you didn't sound offended, OTM. I was just a possible explanation. Really the bottom line is no one knows what his motives are, and you've spent time with him, so technically, you'd know more than anyone else, right?

Yup, that is true!

He is not good at offering explanations to things.

I'd just see how it goes.

You should take a trip. Seriously, it's good to just get a way, get some clarity on things.

Regarding the pouting, by saying what you did, "oh probably nothing..." is pouting. You're trying to get a reaction from him in hopes that he feels guilty and invites you along, you have to be able to see that. You're doing the same things, denying your actions, and expecting different results. If you can't see this, I would start those sessions pronto.

I don't see how Paris would be telling. He said he may have a chance to go, so great, why should he have to take you and why is it telling? If he invites you, that's the jam on the toast SunnyJax mentioned. I don't understand why you would think that not inviting you is telling, he barely knows you and going on a trip with someone, is a big deal, and often it doesn't work out even when you know the person well. You should be happy for him and not acting or doing things to make him feel bad for wanting to enjoy himself without you. Can't you see how high maintenance this is?

Make your own plans to go somewhere, like Rmb said, not because of him, but because of you and your life and expanding your mind. When he finds out more about Paris he might invite you, or he may not, but if you have those expectations now, it won't serve you well, and you could potentially ruin any chances of being invited.

I think too when we are with people we tend to start sharing more and more with each other, just our day to day thoughts, like oh, work wants to maybe send me to Paris, and I'd be interested in going. That's just him sharing what's happening in his life at the moment.

It's like when I tell my husband, there's conference in DC work may want to send me to. We just had this very discussion a couple of weekends ago over dinner. And so I tell him work may want me to go, but I don't know yet. And he then says, "If the Cubs make it to the world series, I'd like to be in Chicago for that." And then I say, "that would be fun, can you pass me the pepper. "

That's kind of how couple conversations go, where there are these ideas that you just both start talking about, but there's nothing finite nor are details discussed because, it's all just stuff you're throwing out there. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

He has no idea how I feel about any of this, when he told me about Paris I genuinely said "Wow, that is so great!, I hope you get to go"
I never act in front of him the way I talk here on the posts.