Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Ziggy Baitz (my dear friend from Oz, wrote this SIX years ago). I felt this SHOULD b shared.
Ziggy = Female
"Why do you suffer depression?" "I don't know, I just do."
Despite the efforts of health advocates and government initiatives to encourage awareness and understanding of mental illness, depression is still the single, most discriminated against health issue in the world today. It is a life- threatening illness, but unfortunately, not taken seriously enough.
Throughout history, people with mental illness have been hidden away in institutions, 'put away, out of sight and out of mind.' Pun intended. Even the name of these institutions has changed several times over the years to allay the fears of both sufferer and probably, to a higher degree, the general public. People branded as insane were put into the infamous mental institution, 'Bedlam,' some 100 years ago. These places have been referred to as 'loony bins,' 'lunatic asylums,' 'nut and mad houses,' mental hospitals or institutions, and with some modernisation, psychiatric hospitals and/or institutions. In the 1970s, they became known as 'acute medical' hospitals. That way, there was no indication of the type of medicine practised for the patients hidden inside.
Whatever names have been given to these places for the mentally ill, and no matter how treatments have changed, the name-calling never has. Nut-case, fruit cake, loony, loon or just plain lunatic, crazy, mad, loopy, crackers. The list goes on. Even television and radio commercials can and do advertise their upcoming sales as being 'sheer madness', using euphemisms like 'Crazy J's', or, K*n Blah 'has gone mad,' as we see him wrapped in a straight jacket, a parrot on his shoulder and patch over his crossed eye. This kind of representation continues on without a whimper of compassion for the mentally ill. Worse, they are ridiculed.
The depressive will most often be asked, 'what caused you to feel this way?' Losing a loved one, going through divorce or enduring chronic illness are just some situations that are very likely to cause depression. These depressions are natural, understood and therefore empathised with . . . as long as it goes away after a short while.
I am not referring to this kind of reactive depression, but to those who suffer endogenous depression, the kind that descends for no apparent reason, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, panic attics and other forms of mental illness that don't go away after what's considered to be a healthy amount of time. For many, it does not go away at all.
'Snap out of it,' the sufferer is told.
'Get a hobby,' is a very popular suggestion.
'Have a nice cup of tea, that will make you feel better.'
'Take a walk.'
'You need to get busy.'
'Get over it.'
'There are plenty of people worse off than you, so pull yourself out of it.'
Again, another endless list of suggestions to get you off your bum and into the real world. All the above ought to take your mind off your problems, right? Not right. If one is depressed, one cannot do these things and is lucky to be able to simply get out of bed, often for days, let alone put the kettle on to make a cup of tea.
I feel qualified to say these things having suffered severe and chronic depression for some 40 years. It's a lonely, frightening, isolating and alienating world.
Something rather wonderful happened to me four years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A life threatening illness people understand! The support was overwhelming and miraculous. When I would have a depressive episode, those around me put it down to my having cancer. I kept this little joke to myself as selfishly, I drank in the sympathy and support I had never received when depressed. I was so happy to be given the loving attention and get-well wishes.
Nobody suggested I 'snap out of it,' or 'find a hobby.' Nobody would even consider me 'taking a walk.' I was not well enough, and certainly the expectation, indeed, requirement to get in the least bit busy, or think about other people who are worse off than myself in order to 'get over it [the cancer],' was suggested. There were plenty of offers to 'have a nice cup of tea' to make me feel better, but I wasn't expected to make it myself. It was the offer of someone making me that cup of tea that had me feeling very much better, not the tea itself.
"Why did I get breast cancer"? "I don't know, I just did."
Why do I get depressed? "I don't know, I just do."
- January 2006
Ziggy = Female
"Why do you suffer depression?" "I don't know, I just do."
Despite the efforts of health advocates and government initiatives to encourage awareness and understanding of mental illness, depression is still the single, most discriminated against health issue in the world today. It is a life- threatening illness, but unfortunately, not taken seriously enough.
Throughout history, people with mental illness have been hidden away in institutions, 'put away, out of sight and out of mind.' Pun intended. Even the name of these institutions has changed several times over the years to allay the fears of both sufferer and probably, to a higher degree, the general public. People branded as insane were put into the infamous mental institution, 'Bedlam,' some 100 years ago. These places have been referred to as 'loony bins,' 'lunatic asylums,' 'nut and mad houses,' mental hospitals or institutions, and with some modernisation, psychiatric hospitals and/or institutions. In the 1970s, they became known as 'acute medical' hospitals. That way, there was no indication of the type of medicine practised for the patients hidden inside.
Whatever names have been given to these places for the mentally ill, and no matter how treatments have changed, the name-calling never has. Nut-case, fruit cake, loony, loon or just plain lunatic, crazy, mad, loopy, crackers. The list goes on. Even television and radio commercials can and do advertise their upcoming sales as being 'sheer madness', using euphemisms like 'Crazy J's', or, K*n Blah 'has gone mad,' as we see him wrapped in a straight jacket, a parrot on his shoulder and patch over his crossed eye. This kind of representation continues on without a whimper of compassion for the mentally ill. Worse, they are ridiculed.
The depressive will most often be asked, 'what caused you to feel this way?' Losing a loved one, going through divorce or enduring chronic illness are just some situations that are very likely to cause depression. These depressions are natural, understood and therefore empathised with . . . as long as it goes away after a short while.
I am not referring to this kind of reactive depression, but to those who suffer endogenous depression, the kind that descends for no apparent reason, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, panic attics and other forms of mental illness that don't go away after what's considered to be a healthy amount of time. For many, it does not go away at all.
'Snap out of it,' the sufferer is told.
'Get a hobby,' is a very popular suggestion.
'Have a nice cup of tea, that will make you feel better.'
'Take a walk.'
'You need to get busy.'
'Get over it.'
'There are plenty of people worse off than you, so pull yourself out of it.'
Again, another endless list of suggestions to get you off your bum and into the real world. All the above ought to take your mind off your problems, right? Not right. If one is depressed, one cannot do these things and is lucky to be able to simply get out of bed, often for days, let alone put the kettle on to make a cup of tea.
I feel qualified to say these things having suffered severe and chronic depression for some 40 years. It's a lonely, frightening, isolating and alienating world.
Something rather wonderful happened to me four years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A life threatening illness people understand! The support was overwhelming and miraculous. When I would have a depressive episode, those around me put it down to my having cancer. I kept this little joke to myself as selfishly, I drank in the sympathy and support I had never received when depressed. I was so happy to be given the loving attention and get-well wishes.
Nobody suggested I 'snap out of it,' or 'find a hobby.' Nobody would even consider me 'taking a walk.' I was not well enough, and certainly the expectation, indeed, requirement to get in the least bit busy, or think about other people who are worse off than myself in order to 'get over it [the cancer],' was suggested. There were plenty of offers to 'have a nice cup of tea' to make me feel better, but I wasn't expected to make it myself. It was the offer of someone making me that cup of tea that had me feeling very much better, not the tea itself.
"Why did I get breast cancer"? "I don't know, I just did."
Why do I get depressed? "I don't know, I just do."
- January 2006
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Everyday I feel more and more sick. Being in pain every day, I've learned to disguise it. So well that others don't believe my pain when I speak of it. Needing help but only receiving negative responses, I find my way but pay for it later. I absolutely need the rest but there's pressing things to be done.
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Ugh my depression is really being triggered by the grief of losing my mom. Ugh it sucks. I wish this pain would leave me already.
I am not judging anyone. I am having a 'discussion' .. and I suggest you ignore anything that makes you feel belittled .. especially in a disussion forum. If you have a problem with me (or anyone else on DS), here is a link to the abuse form:
http://www.dailystrength.org/help/report-abuse
I sympathize with you Blackdogg.
I have been that depressed person who draggs herself out of bed and into work only to be tormented by others for not moving fast enough.
I've been that college student whose professors just assume that the bags under my eyes and reason my project is late are from nights of hard partying instead of hours spent sobbing in my room because I don't know how much longer I can take it.
I've been that person who drags herself to that social event or wedding only to be overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and isolation.
I've been that customer in the store who is too shy to ask for help but inadvertently makes awkward/suspicious eye-contact with someone and ends up getting followed around by security.
I've been the victim who finally grows the balls to stand up to the bully then ends up bursting into tears in the middle of my "f*ck you" speech because I can't stop the thoughts that are racing through my head.
There is a part of me that feels like I deserve a little more credit than I get for just waking up in the morning. But on the same token I will admit that I've had other depressed friends who I felt were using their illness as a cop-out for wallowing or an excuse to act irresponsibly.
Should I be more sensitive to their plite? Should I, a fellow sufferer, simply "know better" than to expect too much from a depressed person? The truth is I don't know.
'been there done that' is my all time favorite comment by people,, uh, wouldn't that make you more understanding? Perhaps my sympathetic chip is over reacting.. but I thought that was a given.
At any rate I'm alright with everyone's opinions and advice on this either way, just letting you all know I relate to attitude. I wish you all better days if today isn't so hot.
WV, not everyone can fit into the little box you created in your statement about person A and person B. We are all different and have different reasons for doing what we do.
@WV: Respectfully disagree with you on this one: "No one can fix one's depression except the depressed one. No medication or other treatment will succeed until the person insists on living .. and does so." Though I completely agree that we have to want (need) to be well to get well, one of the most insidious characteristics of depression is its ability to rob us of our spirit, energy and sometimes even our will to live. There have been rare periods in my life in which I was in so much pain, it was all I could do just to keep breathing in the hope that *something* would improve. I did not choose to feel that way.
Then again, every one of us is here because we DO want to help ourselves and we DO want to feel better and get our lives back on track. Maybe I am taking this one too personally because there's such a thin line between what it looks like to wallow in one's own misery and being temporarily incapable of keeping up the fight.
@everyone: Depression sucks -- we can all attest to that! It would be wonderful if the stigma were eliminated, and it's a shame that many of the people who are here to treat us still hold the old prejudices. Many don't even realize they still think that way unless pressed for their opinions. A little sympathy (as blackdog illustrated so beautifully) would go such a long way!
Sometimes you gotta force yourself....bitching all the way if you want, but what is the alternative?
staying in bed until you die of bedsores and muscle atrophy?
no one is going to come and move you about like a marionette to take care of yourself or do what needs to be done.....
It's sort of like an addict.
There is no help until YOU at least ask for help (and GET it) ...OR do for yourself.
There really is no alternative.
Apologies if this upsets people......it usually does, and I've been admonished for it before.
If we don't take care of ourselves, no one else will. and it's not fair to ask someone else to anyway.
peace~
Saying that we (those of us who get up and push through the pain) must not be suffering as much as you or must not be truly depressed is a crock. Uhhh...and the wishing pain on others? This is just getting childish.