I guess I could look into it ... somthing needs to change.i just went to the movies and spent the whole time wripping at my arm :(

Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. Give Fr. a text and at least ask for more info about that ranch. Sweetheart, this is your answer! Don't wait for Tuesday. I think I already know what'll happen...you'll go Tues. then come on here and type about how it wasn't any help. That's a pattern that you've developed. PLEASE, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, GO TO THE RANCH. TEXT FR. & TELL HIM YOU'LL DO IT. PLEASE. I know that you really do want help. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't believe you.

I just wish it was that simple :( I'm fricking 25 and I can't make decisions for myself at all .i will never be allowed to go to some random place :( I actually have more of a chance of going to hospital before I can go to the ranch :(

What if you went through with it without even mentioning it to your parents ? Do you think you could try that ?

I live with them so that is impossible :(

Gotcha. Well, maybe you could at least get as much info about it as you can, and then, once you've got the info on it - like pamphlets, or whatever, then sit down with them and discuss it. At least they will realize that you're really serious about it when they see how prepared you are. I mean, hey, it's worth a shot. don't automatically assume they'll say no when you haven't even told them about it. Maybe they will and maybe they won't. At least give them the chance to hear you out before they say no. Ya' know ?

You are 25, a legal adult. Your parents can bitch and moan all they want and pretend you don't have a problem and then one day they will be planning your funeral, still blaming you. Fuck your parents. They don't control your life unless you let them. You need inpatient care. Like another said on here, call 911 and say you are in danger of suicide. They will take you to the er, where they begin the process. They won't release you unless they think you are out of danger of hurting yourself. And if your psychiatrist or therapist is against hospitalization, get a new doctor. The first time is a jarring experience but my being willing to admit I couldn't do it on my own anymore has saved me over and over again. And you can talk to them about finding a social worker for finding subsidized housing and ssi, food stamps, etc. And that doesn't even have to be forever. I get the impression that your parents are exacerbating your condition. Do what you have to do to get safe and get the hell out of there. Maybe you can get well enough to go to college, or go again if you did in the past, and gain the independence you need.

I'm in college now but I'm on break for another week . Why I can't move out is because I'm paying for school so I can't aford to move out :( I also don't know if I would trust myself because the first thing I think of when I think of living alone is killing myself :( i don't know why I am so screwed in the head

Okay - let's please watch the language here, soulsearcher. You can give the exact same advice, without using such harsh language.

Now, musicgirl, you know need help. You are wise to realize that you cannot be left alone b/c of the suicidal tendencies you have. Yet, it isn't safe for you to stay where you are either. As you said, something's gotta change. I believe that the ranch thing would be ideal in your situation, because they don't just hold you and let you go, they really rehabilitate you and help you so that you CAN be left alone safely. They will teach you how to be able to live on your own. However, if that is definitely not an option for you, then call 911.

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's not .my mom just questioned me going to my primary care dr today . Apparently she didn't think there is a point when I said I want a different perspective on the situation .she was like what situation .so clearly she oblivious to how I am struggling :(

Oh, my dear. There was the perfect opportunity to explain it to her. Remember, your mom can't see what's inside your head. She doesn't know how much you're suffering. She isn't against you, she loves you and wants what's best for you. She really doesn't know your situation, that's why she was like, "what situation?" She really doesn't get it, and you are the only one who can explain it to her. As far as she's concerned, your life seems perfect. She only sees the exterior. Let her into your world. Explain to her the way you've been feeling. Remember, she can't help you if she doesn't even realize that you need help. Of course she won't just send you to some hospital or ranch - you're not letting her into your world. She needs to know. Let her in. Share your feelings with her the way you have been doing with us.

I guess .i did at the therapist last week but I guess she already forgot :/ I

If you just say it like once or twice, but then say nothing more about it, she's not going to think that it's really a big deal for you. But if she sees how this is completely taking over - if you constantly keep talking about it to her and continue to talk about suicide & stuff, the way you have been doing on this site, then she HAS to realize that there is more to it than what she thinks. Have you even mentioned the ranch thing to her ? Or have you continued to insist that you need help ? Beg her, be persistent, nag her about it if you have to. And if none of that works, CALL911 .

Yeah we discussed this in the car but she is against it :( I go to the dr in like 2hrs will see how that goes :( I'm scared

Well, I hope everything works out for you. Be sure to tell your doctor how you're feeling and about the suicidal tendencies you've been having. Even if this doctor is not a psychologist, at least that's one more person who will listen to you. Tell him/her that you are desperate for help.