I guess that' makes sense .other then wripping at my arms this morning I haven't tried to kill my self today ... but I did want to but I prevented it so I guess that is ok :(

Call someone - if you don't think you should call 911, go here for more info on how to get help. http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/self-injury/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Also, if you can drive now, then drive yourself to the nearest Catholic Church. It doesn't matter what time of day(or night) the Church should be open. Just to go in and sit for a few minutes each day would be an amazing help. It would be great if you can meet up with a priest - they will listen to you and offer whatever help they can - remember, a priest is like a therapist, only they listen to you and help you for FREE. And they are bound by vow to keep whatever you share with them secret. They can't tell anyone.

Seems to me this is your last shot, hun. Give it a try. I'm pulling for you. Oh, and try to smile.

Make sense .maybe tomorrow cause right now I've just been reading and I don't feel like moving to go anywhere ... I guess the fact that I'm reading is a good thing since before I wasn't .but I haven't had the energy to move to stop reading and do somthing else .its kind of strange .
Apparently we are going to family friends for dinner .i don't want to go at all and the only reason I am is because I know I wouldn't be safe if I didn't :(
Why won't this end even when nothing bad is going on I feel super gloomy and depressed :(

I left a comment under the "I Need Help" discussion. I left a phone number for you, and website of a priest who may be able to help you. Even if you can't meet with him, you can at least call or text.

I guess it's worth a shot I just don't know what to say to a stranger/priest without sounding totally crazy

Just say, hello, tell him your name and that even though you're not christian, you need help desperately. Trust me, he's dealt with a lot. He won't think you're crazy. I know him personally. He's a genuine nice guy. He will want to help you, and won't try to convert you or anything like that. Just tell him you heard about him online.

I guess I can try . I don't knormallyy just text random people but I guess if jts for my health I can try

C'mon , you can do this. Do you want me to talk to him first, and let him know that you'll be getting in touch with him ?

Possibly. I'm currently with company so I don't know if I can have a conversation with him :/

That's fine. It doesn't have to be right this minute. I'll tell him what I know about you, the troubles you've been going through & stuff. Then I'll let him know that you will be getting in touch with him when you can. This way he'll be expecting your text or call and he'll already have some background info about you. So, it won't come as a surprise to him when you do get in touch with him.

The two of you can schedule a time that's best for the both of you to talk. I'll get in touch with him as soon as I can. By now, and hang in there.

Thanks sounds like a good plan . Do u actually know this person

Hey can u write on here when u have messaged him?

Hey, I just sent him an e-mail. Don't know if he got it yet. I'll text him right now and tell him to check his e-mail. Good luck.

I just messaged him to check it.

Yes. I know him well. He is my parish priest.