Oh honey I am so sorry. I think that treatment is best. I know that it is very upsetting to go but it is a far safer situation for you at the moment...sending hugs, love, best wishes and prayers. Thinking of you. <3. xxxx.

Well she just yelled at me as a threat and then dropped the conversation .so I guess I'm not going anywhere :( but clearly I need more help then I'm getting .i see my psychiatrist on Saturday but I don't think that is enough help :( I don't know what to do . All I want to do is hurt myself

Tell the psychiatrist that you need more help than you are getting.
Ask about going to inpatient care in hospital where you can get help
everyday.

The hardest challenge is though I'm 25 my parents control my life and she is super against ur hospital ...she thinks it's just a holding tank that they don't help at all :( and when I went to the therapist earlier in the week he said to watch me or take me to the hospital ...but he is against hospital as well so they went with the first choice :(
But I'm not getting any better if anything I'm getting worse .
what's next deAth ?

Hun, I've been there. I mean, the psych hospital for inpatient treatment. They will help you - one thing is that they will control EVERYTHING. You will not have access to anything that you can hurt yourself with. They will even hold your meds in a separate place and give you only the amount you need when you need to take them. As for recreational things, they had crayons and coloring pages - that was it. Some patients were not even allowed access to that.

They also have doctors who are there to help you. The one thing about my experience there was that I was able to talk about my issues - over and over, as much as I needed to talk, there was always someone there to listen. It's probably what you need at this point.

:( sounds like it :( the only issue is they can't take away my fingers and that's my weapon :( . Ever since the band aids have been on my arms I just keep scratching at them :( I want to wrip them off so badly . I also want to sleep right now to avoid life but it's only 6 where I am so I can't :( tomorrow I have family therapy and I'm scared it's gong to be a disaster then Saturday I see the psychiatrist . I just feel like I need more help then this and no one sees it at all .but the internet community :( what if it's to late ?

It's never too late. Especially at such a young age.

I hope . I just don't know what help I need :( clearly medicine mixed with cbt therapy hasn't worked . So were do I go next Before I die :(

If no one else will listen to you, call 911 or your local law enforcement and tell them you are not safe. In this way your parents, or anyone else has any say so in the matter. I went inpatient and the process of getting admitted isn't fun but once you get in your own room its peaceful. You can get stabilized.

Despite all of what I do I still always feel like I'm not that bad to go . And that I'm just a waist of time :(

You are never a waste of time. About your fingers being the weapon, they have ways of even controlling that.

Make the call, dear. It's what you need now. You know it even if no one else around you does. Get help.

I haven't done it in a little bit because my mom is in the same room .but since my last comment I have reflected a bit and I think I am ready to ask for more help when I see my dr on Saturday .i feel like I have no control of myself and this needs to stop .both the suicidle actions and the cutting :(

Good for you. Ask for help. Tell your therapist everything. That's what the therapist is there for. Share all of your feelings about what you've been going through. Tell him/her that you believe you really need this.

I just have to make it till then :/ and I have to have the guts to actually say I need help . Most of the time I become super suicidle during therapy and shot down so I don't want help .its not a very good and or productive situation :(

You can do this. You are not alone. Be brave and do what you know you need to do.