Hey, Bay and Cerridwen, you might have just managed to make this an interesting topic...

I can think of a few times when a guy was SO focused on whether or not he was pleasing me that it was interfering with his own pleasure...so it was missing that zen vibe of mutual enjoyment; instead there was a kind of tense anxiety. And I'm not talking about sex. Wait, maybe I am talking about sex, but other things too. It's not a deal-breaker, just kind of, well, you know...

It would make more sense if you'd seen that Monty Python sketch, "Am I Fussing You Too Much?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aUbGGFySdU

Personally, I am not looking for a marriage commitment, I am looking for a man that I can spend time with and be a companion to. If the marriage issue comes up, then I will deal with it then. I want a man that respects me and my feelings, that will love me for me and be there for me no matter what. A man that likes to go out and have a good time but does like to stay home and spend quality time together. I have not come across that again and not sure if there are anymore out there.

Miss Daisy, I understand what you're talking about. All ME is not a good thing. He misses what I'm trying to give him. Uh, like, attention.

I know many ladies who are lookign for that "bad boy" boyfriend. But those are also the ones who are not serious about building a future with someone. They looks for someone like that to fill a void in their own life. I really think that most woman are not looking for that type of guy. I can't imagine why anyone would not want a nice guy. Bad boys are for teenagers!

Okay, I'm about to blow my cool here! I'm really tired of you folks putting down women because we like a 'bad boy' image. You obviously don't know what we're talking about. Let me say that if you can't play nice, get out of the sandbox.

As a young woman, I chose, pretty consistently, the "bad boy." Now, having grown older and more mature, having suffered a relationship with a "bad boy," I wouldn't mind a nice guy. Maybe you just need to look for a mature woman who's clearer on what's best for her, and avoid the "sexy little young things" who don't have a brain cell in their bodies!

LOL, I'm sorry, I know I'm going to get clobbered for this, and I can live with that, but this thread reminds me of a discussion I was in once on this topic, and someone said that the nice guys end up with all the women that the bad boys have sucked the juice out of.

Peace out.

Cbevmom, that's not nice either! Now you're stereotyping sexy little young things. Maybe you folks don't know how to have a mature discussion, well that's obvious to me! No wonder....oh never mind. I won't sink to your level.

Oh, lighten up Cerri. Jesus christ...

No I don't think so. You guys need to lighten up! Some here have said some pretty nasty things. GROW UP!

OK, I've sat on the sidelines, let me throw my 2cents worth in.

Ladies and gentlemen, I too have a thing for what you guys are referring to as "bad boys".

We don't all have the same definition of "bad boy."

There are the men that prey on women with low self-esteem. Those are NOT "bad boys" they are abusers. NOT THE SAME THING.

Then there is the "bad boy" that refers to an image. Personally, like others, I like an element of "bad" to my guy. That said, my "bad boy" is a pussy cat that treats me like a queen. He is a nice guy with an element of passion and intensity, but it stays where it belongs. If you have any doubt about whether my "bad boy" is really a "nice guy" read my journal.

People, this all has to do with perception. We are here to be supportive of each other, not take each other down with name calling and placing judgement.

For those of you "nice guys" out there that are finding yourself attracted to women who are attracted to "bad boys" instead of asking what makes a women attracted to "bad boys" why not ask yourselves why you are attracted to women who are attracted to "bad boys" You can't control anyone but yourself. If you want a woman that wants a "nice guy" then look into why you aren't attracted to those women.

/thread

I second that. NM to say but thank you, Gaelyn.

It seems to me that i got involved in the wrong discussion here. I thought the idea was to get feedback from others in the same situation, and it's now turned into a bash session. I know myself I was looking for some understanding here of why nice attractive women seem to be attracted to that kind of man. It's hard for us guys that have the best of intentions to continue getting hurt because of this issue, and I feel all the bashing has made it worse for me anyway.

I'm not into a bash session either. But I certainly don't like others to say things like they have here on this post, nor am I ashamed to say so.

It's odd that some can say negative things about others, without thinking before they say it. Then if someone like myself comes to defend those, the people that said the negative shit get all bent out of shape. Hey, if ya can't hang, don't say it!