Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
OK...I am 38 and going through a divorce with a woman I thought was the love of my life. I spent almost 12 years with her and was glad for every one of the years. Prior to dasting her I dated occasionally, but ALWAYS ended up inthe friend zone because I'm a nice guy. Maybe I'm nieve, too trusting or just not outgoing or forceful enough. Why is it that most women I am attracted to have to have the "bad boy"...they guy who is a player, the guy who will treat them like shit and then throw them away and then they bitch about how badly he treated them? AND yet they would go back to him in a heartbeat...Am I just stupid or is this what happens?? LADIES...as a man who will be getting back into the dating scene (I hate that term) any advice on how to stay out of the "friend zone" and find someone to share my time, love and eventually my life with??
I can honestly say that after the hell I went through, if I ever got involved again it would now be with someone the complete opposite of my x. If I don't make the right choice my friends will be there to tell me not to pick that one, just as they were the first time, but this time I'll listen!
I have a good male friend that is a 'Nice guy.' I told him, and I'll tell you, that women like a challenge, as well as you men do. Too nice = Too boring!
Some of us do want the "nice guys".
the one was a rock star, lived with his parents, the other, I think has a live in girlfriend who pays his way, as he don't have a job that I know of...
As soon as he has to cut the lawn or put down the toilet seat, or pay one of her bills, he'll head for the hills and she'll be standing there, lawnmower in hand, crying her freaking eyes out. I was a bad boy, that's what got us together come to think of it. Now, I have aged gracefully like a good bottle of 37 yr. old scotch. She is still into tequila and jaeger bombs... Girls that like bad boys are spending their lives chasing him, and chasing another, and another. It's never going to end for them, until/if they grow up. If you want a fling, act like a bad boy, you'll find plenty of stupid prey out there. If you want another serious romantic life long relationship with someone who loves you as much as you love them, be the nice guy you are.
These were always the types I tried to date - even though it seemed that aggressive men were more attracted to me, maybe because they saw me as someone who would be easy to control. (My stbx was not a "bad boy" but turned out to have other problems.) Whenever a guy crossed a line and started treating me like shit, I dumped him (including my stbx).
A lot of women really do prefer gentlemen. Smart women are out there. I'm starting to get tired of repeating this fact.
The better question here is: Why are you attracted to immature dumb bunnies who want to chase bad boys?
I don't appreciate being referred to as 'stupid' when I have an IQ high enough to join MENSA and was reading Romeo & Juliet in Olde English in 3rd grade, with total comprehension and understanding.
Be careful what names you start throwing around.
One of the most obnoxious guys I EVER met once said, "I'm a nice guy, aren't I?" and then was offended when I burst into peals of laughter.