Active listening! I agree. It's important for both sexes. (And you know what? I've got a friend who plays that "I shouldn't have to tell you what's wrong crap game." ARRRGGGHH. Want to. shake her silly. So maybe it's a personality thing. I know darn well people can't read my mind no matter how close we are. I couldn't read my ex's (hell, I would've needed an Atlas to find my way around in there). If I'm being inscrutable, I simply don't want to share. But then I'm going to say that.

You brought up a good point BP.

I think we forget how to listen, really listen and hear, other people. I think more mis-communication happens because of lack of listening, than lack of talking.

High 5 Bella!!

That whole "you should know what I want" crap just makes me want to smack women who do that.

I don't expect anyone to read my mind, any more than I expect to be able to read theirs. If I don't tell you, how will you know? If you don't tell me, how will I know?

Seems like common sense to me.

Yes, we all have to say something bad or good, so we try, but progress made only if other party hears you.

Exactly! We have to tell, and LISTEN!

Exactly..... Listening goes hand in hand with talking....

No, D, just hear, talking is a women talk, but hear. Not in hand, that's why I am this topic all night.

All I wanted was ice cream, LOL!

That's the problem Dale, many people talk, without listening, and truly hearing, in return.

We focus on expressing ourselves in communication, but I don't think we practice listening to the person expressing themselves. It even happens here, in writing. I think many threads turn into brawls because people don't feel like they are being 'heard' and some don't 'listen.' I know I'm guilty of it here.

the sexes don't process information the same so what one sex is saying is not necessarily what is being heard.

i read somewhere it is because the woman is wrong.

this is such a tired old question

It might be a tired old question Anne, but from it I realized I don't always 'listen' to what people here are saying. It's led to many of the misunderstandings I've had with people here. I didn't feel heard, or I wasn't hearing them.

Faithful, I think men and women do communicate differently, that's why ACTIVE listening is important. Listening and hearing the person, then repeating back to them, in your own words, what you heard. To make sure you heard what was meant by the other person. Asking questions too. We have to give as much energy to hearing, as to speaking.

Not that you haven't had enough response's here, but seriously, watch a T.V. add right now. That's what women want! LOL! Romance and stability! That's about it for me! Good luck on your quest here!

OK, fine, Gaelyn, I will go read the whole thread, maybe I will learn something, maybe not. But I will make the effort, always looking to improve myself!

LOL!

ANNE WAIT!!!