RMan, I was not perfect. I wish I was better. I wish I had the opportunity to prove I could be better.

I"m also not sure it would have mattered.

I had alot of issues...the abuse compounded the problems.
I was the best I could be considering the circumstances. I worked on my issues in therapy and changed drastically(for the better)...but it was too late and I could not continue in that abusive enviroment and stay in recovery.

I kind of thought I was.... I did things for her without expectation of anything back, that is what love is.

Yes. I honestly have no regrets. I am not perfect either, but I tried my best at our marriage.

What makes a good spouse? Someone who tries to communicate--talking and listening,too.....someone who is there sexually and emotionally....someone who can be counted on and helpful, even when they don't feel like it.....someone who doesn't put the other person down to their face or behind their back........and mostly someone who prioritizes marriage as the #1 relationship in their life and gives it that kind of energy.

I put up with a lot. i wasn't perfect. I still don't think we deserved what happened though.

I had my strong points and my weak ones. I regret some of the weaker ones, but have grown and learned from them.

When my husband and I separated, I was pretty quick to lay all the blame on him and saw myself as the victim. Well, I still do....ha ha, but I do see times when I could have given a little more to help our marriage. I was never the submissive wife and maybe that caused him to lie and go behind my back to get what he wanted.

I think I was a very good spouse. I was not perfect, but I sure did try hard. I wish my stbx had appreciated me more. I felt like I gave and was never rewarded for it. It wasn't until just before the seperation that I was so worn out that I just couldn't give anymore. I was so tired. I am still trying to recover my health. It is so slow in coming.

*trigger*

I'm with hikerchic on this one. I was a good wife. Even with all the games he's been playing and the fact that he's a narcissitic sociopath- he did tell me I was a good wife, and he just didn't have it in him to be a good husband. Then in the same breath he found a million ways to blame me lol

I really wish i was a better spouse. I was not fun to live with by the end of it.

I could have been better - so could he.

I was a perfect wife...just not to my narcissitic, selfish, loser of a husband...still having anger issues tonight.

Nobody is perfect and there are always 2 sides to every story.

I thought I was doing the right things... maybe I wasn't. I tried to do everything for him to make him happy... but I know now that wasn't the right thing to do. I gave up on myself and focused so much on him that I became unhappy. It might have been that reason he cheated on me...

As far as the abuse... that was all him

I would have done anything to keep my marriage together. She just wasn't having it. Perhaps that is my fault too. Who knows? Who knows if it even would have mattered? I can't change it now anyway.

L22: Know all about anger.....use it for good. That's my advice.