Ugh it royally sucks but unless there's something in the divorce decree or parenting plan I don't think there's much you can do unfortunately. She's his mom as much as you're his dad and eventually you will date and believe me you don't want her dictating your decisions as far as your choices there...be the strong dad you are for your kids. No one can take that away. Unless he is exposed to be abusive or whatever to your son I'm afraid your just gonna have to deal. I'm really sorry. I know it sucks ass. Your ex is showing her true colors, believe me you're miles ahead having her out of your life and being out of crazyville..

did your kids know that your wife and you were dating, if so, that shows how little your wife thinks of anyone other than herself

your wife sure is a POS, you should get tested for stds, rebuilding your relationship and boffing this month, then she's already got this guy
"yuck"

it is really sad that your kids have to deal with mommy and her itch

what" man" wants to be a Chris

Your ex is a real piece of work. She knows how broken up you are about her decision to start dating and she knew when you were bringing your son home. She should have been decent and made sure you didn't bump into him. She also should have been woman enough to introduce you when you arrive instead of ignoring you. Assuming she telling the truth, introducing your son to someone she's been dating for three weeks is premature at best. You have no control over her poor choices so your only option is to be there for your son.

Refurb and Missy great points. She should've taken the high road and made it so less awkward. Like I said shows her true character. This journey royally sucks ass. Especially for the kids. Hurts to have to endure this shitstorm. Hope you will find peace and happiness my friend. Take care

Talk about inconsiderate .....but next time bring a good looking gal who is just a "friend" for moral support ;-). make her wonder for a change ....maybe thats evil of me but I never claimed to be an ange lol.

Angel*. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship or scratch an itch. It just means you need a good friend who supports you while youdeal with the bs.

My God...How shitty she is!!!

Your son should not be exposed to that
and neither should you

I know that feeling as I walked in on my ex and her surprise boyfriend....wtf???!!!

It had been six months...but she had just moved back in the house after I moved out

POS is right

@refurb, yes the kids knew we were dating. My son especially knew as we were together with him mostly when we were together. He saw us kissing and holding hands when we walked.

Yeah - her statement in my post on safe to ask for feedback included: "So, I'm dating and giving myself the time and space to figure out what I want. I'm not putting any expectation or pressure on myself. I'm almost half a century old and and learning to embrace uncertainty. That's where I am."

Now, she says she will drop him off here for my visitation tomorrow night, and she will stay for dinner, but not a walk as she has a massage appointment at 8:00.

I have been making her steak dinner every Tuesday as we were reconciling. Now I'm all messed up in my head. Part of me wants her to come for comfort and routine, and part of me knows I should never have her over again. This whole year of so has been a mind F***k, and I'm just lost. The pain is unreal.

My advice is no to her staying for dinner.
The kids have to adjust that you're not together. It's gotta be about the kids only now. That's my 2 cents but I'm sure everyone here would agree. Gotta break away man. Dinners should be over if you want to heal

What a set of cojones on this woman. She is a cold, unfeeling witch. Is she planning to tell you about her date over dinner? I strongly urge you to set up boundaries immediately. No more dinners, walks or talks with her unless directly related to your son. You've suffered a huge emotional setback and you need to refocus on healing.

She is dating but wants you to come to dinner? How old is your son? I would have told her to shove dinner up her wazoo and it is solely because she "expects something that is not required by you. I dont think your son is requesting you to have dinner together.

HOLY CRAP!!! Your ex is a PIECE OF WORK!!! Any good parent should know better than to introduce their child to a new date after only 3 weeks!!! I've dated several men and a lot of them haven't gone past a month! I don't introduce my kid to anyone until I am sure the relationship is going somewhere, and that isn't for a few months. Granted I don't ask her dad permission, but he doesn't ask me either. We both trust the other parent will use common sense in dealing with our daughter. What a stupid...well, I'm not going to say the word, but you get my drift.

Also, she was terribly inconsiderate. I don't introduce my ex to my boyfriends until there is a need to, and mainly that is when my ex is ready to meet them. Not that I've had many (only 2 have met my daughter). Once the new man is going to be involved with our child, I give my ex the option to meet the new guy, and when they do meet, yeah, it is uncomfortable, but I do everything in my power to minimize the awkwardness as possible.

F*ck her coming to dinner. Set some boundaries! She is a piece of work. Who in the hell does she think she is? You don't need that. She wants to play the field and keep you on the side, and if you have any self respect, you will put a stop to being her standby. I know you are in pain and might not be to that point yet, but when you do, get some boundaries up and let her know exactly where she belongs...out with the rest of the trash. Hopefully it will happen sooner rather than later, so you can start healing.

I'm so sorry for your pain. You deserve better.

cold, cold, woman, you are better off without that for a wife,
her kids are stuck with her
she is one cold calculating evil thing

It Is extremely arrogant. It will keep happening until she is taken off her pedastal and unfortunately you can't take the high road and do it. She "expects" something. I just wondering why she is punishing you because it obvious to me she is purposely setting you up to hurt and its extremely vindictive on her part. I dont know anything to counteract it besides taking her down a peg or two and how do you so without making yourself look vendicitive yourself. Is it even possible....?

My son is 11. Dinner is here at my apartment. My eyes are slowly opening, but I need my heart to catch up. We were married for 12 years. In the year since the divorce, I've done anything and everything to try to be perfect for her and win her back, been at her beck and call for any need from minor repairs to mowing her lawn to getting her groceries, her Christmas tree while she was in Florida with Neil, cleaning her gutters...anything. I've cooked her steak dinners every week. It has become habit. Now I'm just lost.