ahh, didnt catch that part sorry. well tell them my sympathy goes out to them then. whoever it is isnt alone

yeah...it's a friend who lives in Niagra Falls...yeah...Niagra Falls...

There is a ton of information about the "sexless marriage" epidemic out there. For some it is a problem, for others not. But I think for one to really crave sex and the other not to enjoy it at all - it does cause a huge problem.

I am with Jaken - I did not mind the orgasm, it is the intimacy that I have such a hard time with. It is the intimacy that leaves me riddled with doubt, fear, anxiety, and questions about myself as a person. The depth of that just seemed to get worse with each experience. And soon it was reduced to just that - doubt, fear, and anxiety.

beautiful area up there. well i agree with jaken that sex wont solve the problem but when there is none and the only reason your not having it is because youre not having it it puts a pretty big strain on things

Damn, I miss those days. I remember one party where I was playing the drums at...I woke up the next morning with my head resting snugly on the pillow. My head was in the bass drum of my drum kit. Oh I miss those days...

oops...wrong thread...

i wouldnt say stupid. intimacy is what a lot of people (me included) are looking for. that whole connection on a deeper level for lack of a better phrase

Hi Jaken!!! Big hug!!!

Is your friend-in-Niagara-Falls' wife aware that her marriage is in jeopardy because of this issue? Is the husband-in-Nigara-Falls saying he smells burnt toast when, in reality, the whole damn house is on fire?

As a man, I have to have the intimacy in order to have great sex. sure, i can have sex, but without the intimacy it is like eating taco shells without any fillings.

I knew I spelled Niagara incorrectly...RedR always makes me smarter...

The entire house is engulfed in flames, by the way...

It depends on the choices each couple make understanding it only takes one to say "I'm not willing to stay in the relationship without _________." Peronally, I was miserable trying to accept a relationship where there was sexual imcompatability. I went along with her setting the sexual pace and boundries essentially trying to settle for what I got. In the end, I resented her for it even though I reluctantly agreed. I resented her for it because in the beginning the explicit verbal agreement was for passionate sex often (up to twice daily) with very few limits and yes we discussed in plain language. So the answer is it depends!

This thread makes me sad - and anxious.

I am torn between wanting a healthy sexual relationship that is fun and exciting - and the realization that I am comfortable being 'asexual'. I think my expectations are greater than my wants and needs.

Much work ahead....much work ahead...

Bottom line: If it's a problem for one person in the relationship, it's a problem for BOTH people. I don't think that the Niagara Falls husband just wants hole-in-the-wall sex from his wife. If both people are aware that there is a problem and can't resolve it between themselves, then both should be willing to seek counseling in order to do so. If one of them is is unwilling then, Houston, we (your friends in Niagara Falls) have a problem).