i think the big underly9ing question is "why doesn't this couple want to be on the same page?"

they each can be asked one simple question: "are you in with both feet or not?"

if not, then walk.

dysfunction is a choice that some make into an art form.

I hate when that happens...especially cause I enjoy it so much...but a lot of times there are deep seeded issues attached to that...sexual abuse...narcicism...drug alcohol abuse...

........yes.....it is important..........IMO VERY important.....
can the relationship survive? Only you can answer that.......

Jaken, I have always wondered this, and don't take it the wrong way.

But why did you marry your ex-husband if you wanted no part of sex with him?

So, Jaken...you don't think that things would have ever changed for you and your lack of desire to be with him sexually? It's not fair to both parties involved.

Jaken, if he was perfect, you would have wanted to fuck his brains out I imagine.

Obviously mine didn't survive. It's hard because years ago when we first started working on that area I was unable to make the changes I wanted to make (fear, anxiety, etc), and then by the time I was, it was too late and he had already lost his feelings for me as a wife and hope that our marriage could still work. I hate hate hate that this is the way it happened, but I think he feels it wouldn't have mattered...we just aren't compatible in that way and I guess I need to remind myself that not every one would be.

Why does sex even have to be considered a big deal anyway? Can't it just be like having dinner?

Jaken, we all fuck up so join the club. Even fuck ups deserve deep love, total acceptance, unbridled intimacy and damn good sex.

And Jaken...you're not a fuck up.

And it is never about the actual sex. It is about the desire and passion to want to fuck your partner silly.

On my one year anniversary (oddly enough the only one that was celebrated), my ex and I were in Mexico, and she was really upset because she got sunburned and thought she ruined our anniversary for me because we couldnt have sex. Just knowing she wanted to was enough, and I told her just hearing that made it that much better.

fuck, I should NOT have written that.

dammit

zip it

Soon, the old sunburn trick, eh?

Faithful, watch it, thats a warning