marijuana is drug use? geeze

But..But... nice guy! Yep, nobody...you are and shall perhaps remain.

your screen name is a little scary to me.....

wow

Trust your instincts. Just because it's over, that doesn't mean you should be cruel. Get her a list of shelters and community outreach programs in the area. Give her a few bucks to get her started and send her on her way, if it's really over.

Be careful to avoid getting suckered in or showing up for a pity party. It's tough to watch anyone suffer, especially someone you care about.

Do the right thing...always

I would listen to your lawyer to a certain extent.

Like mentioned, find her shelters to go to, somewhere.

If he says don't give her money ask him why and make your decision off that. I don't understand it myself but. . . .

I know that we retain lawyers for their advise but it sounds as if you are struggling a little with just putting her out. If you want to help her find a shelter to go too, do that. Do what you feel like you must to look in the mirror the next day. You are divorcing her, but that does not mean you can't be the person you are, while doing it. All the best to you. Kimmee

I agree with Mopri--ask the lawyer why you can't give her any money to get herself established.

well...

if you're asking her to leave because of a drug dependancy, even if it is marijuana, i do question the advisability of giving her money.

Would she spend it appropriately or would she just use it to go on a massive drugfest?

Yes, Geo... Marijuana is drug use and would not be tolerated in my house!

That being said, I agree with the others, if you are worried about her using the money to buy drugs, then why don't you rent her a pay by the week hotel room? The $1,000 would pay for about a months worth, that would be a big help in getting her started on her own.

Good luck!

Ok, why are you divorcing?

If she's stayed at home not working for years, (and I don't know if this is true or not) then why do you think that you can just put her out of the house?

How much is she smoking mariguana? Once a day, or every day all day long?

You live in MI....is anyone still working there?

How long have you been married?

One year? Yeah...getting her out of the house as fast as possible is probably the best answer.

Twenty years? How can you even Think of it?

I saw in your profile that you have an 8 year old child. Is he her's as well? Do you really want his mother out on the streets? Would you want YOUR mother out on the streets?

Lawyers may help you get the most you can, but this may also start up a big expensive Fight....not in anyone's best interests....EXECPT the lawyers.

If this is your child's mother, it's in your best interest to help her get set up in her new life. (Lifelong enemies aren't much fun.)

If after given some Time (we all need time to adjust), she won't co-operate, then I will see things differently.

Getting high is getting high. Period. Part of the reason my marriage is over and part of the reason that certain poor choices were made.

What 'precedent' is the lawyer concerned about? That you would be enabling her addiction? Is he also a therapist? I would take legal advice from a lawyer. The rest of the advice, I would find within myself. Seems like you have. Yes, giving her 1K may be funding her habit, you may be enabling her, but, you need to decide that.

Good luck, no. (Geeze... your member name... lil' creepy... just saving... good luck all the same...)

I have deep concerns here. Do you rent a home? Is her name on the lease? Do you own a home? Is this home a marital asset?

You really cannot just put someone out of their home on t he allegation that they smoke pot. I don't condone that, but at this point it is just that, an allegation.

I see by your profile that you have been diagnosed as bipolar and it appears you are NOT taking your medications. You say you are on 100% disability from the Armed Forces. Is this due to bipolar disorder?

There is more here than meets the eye.

Attorney's almost always say that sans a history of domestic violence there is no way to force a spouse out of t he home. Therefore I am confused by your statement "they advise getting the wife out the door ASAP".

The COURTS will decide what monies you will give her, not you and not your attorney.

Exactly Courier. Throwing your wife out on the street like a dog is probably not good advice. It's her house too. Regardless of whether she pays rent or it's in her name. I don't think she has to go anywhere legally and I don't know what cracker jack box the attorney got his license out of but if you throw her and her stuff out and it IS illegal, there will be hell to pay in the divorce court. And if you do live in Michigan I can most definitely tell you that is illegal as it gets in this State. Did you mention to the folks here that Marijuana is legal here if you have a medicinal card ? And that it's also legal in Ann Arbor?

I have done my research on the effects of lifelong habitual marijuana use and the effects it has on her and will have on my sons future by her example and the action is to protect my son.

I see what you are saying about the money being used to purchase more drugs and setting the precedent of giving her monies the may lead to complications with any alimony. she will not have custody of our son. but supervised visitation until she is drug free.