That's NOT for you to decide (regarding visitation), that's for the courts to decide. You have only "spoken" with an attorney and not yet even filed yet you have already decided who is getting custody, what visitation will be ordered, the conditions of visitation. At this point you haven't even proved she is using marijuana!

There are laws in this State regarding everything your talking about. I hope you embrace the rude awakening your about to get when you actually file and they cite you for throwing her out of the house because in this State if it's an apartment she's shared whether paying rent or not she gets a 45 day notice, and if it's a marital home, whether paying rent or not she gets a 60 day notice.

I think a little more information about your wife is needed. Does she work? Does she own part of the house?

If that was my wife I would kick her a** to the curb. Keeping her in the house jeopardizes the safety of your child and you keeping your home. If she dont go take your child out of the house and call the cops on her and then file for and order of protection so she can not come around. You dont need to come home and find out child services has taken the child. You will have a hard time getting the child back. Because you allowed her to do this around the child.

wow

Peace is right. You are in for a rude awakening. In my state, marijuana use is laughed at in the courts. It just isn't seen as serious, and it certainly won't lose anyone custody or cause supervised visitation. The courts are also going to wonder why, if she has been a long time marijuana user, you allowed her around your son all these years. Why now is she not safe for him to be around? Sounds like you are now using it as an excuse because it's handy for you.

If I were you, I would seek a second opinion from another lawyer.

I can't say that leaving anyone with $1000 sounds like 'being a nice guy' either. It's not really going to be up to you as to how much you leave her with. Patti seems to have made some very valid points you may want to take into serious consideration.

Again.

How long have you been married?

How long has she smoked?

Look, I don't do it. My ex used to long ago, and I think Very rarely does now. I know that with some people it's a problem, and with some it's not.

Half the country has at one time or another.

If you've been married 10-20 years and has smoked throughout, it will look like you're using this as an Excuse.

Again...if she's never learned to drive in all the years you've been together, you will have to be understanding of that now. This isn't News to You.

Also 1K is a LOT of money to some, and pocket change to others. In most places it's not enough to put a security deposit down on an apartment.

Things change if she has an Addiction. But even if she does...if you've been together for so long, don't you have a moral obligation to stay with your Wife if she gets help? If she's not getting help and out of control (arrests... convictions... documented abuse), then you do need her out.

But you haven't told us any of that.

Is she smoking in front of your son? That changes things too. And I'm not just talking about getting high back in a bedroom. It would matter more if he was a Baby...but he's 8 now.

And if she's been doing this throughout his life, what's changed now? If this was a serious drug problem, I would think that you'd have been more concerned then.

Drinking a beer around a child is NOT the same as getting drunk and passing out. Smoking is not the same as getting stoned (or whatever they call it.)

If you've been together a long time, and she's Never worked, you may have to help her get her feet under her. If she's just been laid off in this economy, you may also have to help her get her feet under her.

Divorce isn't Cheap. Your obligations may be a lot more than you'd like them to be.

I'd get a second opinion from another lawyer before doing something that will get you into deap trouble.

And I was married to someone who drank his way though our last year of marriage. I KNOW that it's no fun. But I also didn't try to cut off his visitation. He still drinks, but not as much. And having an amicable divorce paid off financially, as well as with our kids. He's a Better father now.

You'll do what you'll do, but someday your child will look back and judge you on it. Pushing the other parent out of their life almost Never works.

My ex ex SIL did this with my ex's brother. Now their daughter is grown and can't stand her mother. And the ex BIL had Serious addictions to cocaine and later heroin...(not to mention the alcohol, pot, pills, etc.) Actually Both of them were total train wrecks and their daughter is worth 10X both of them put together.

The point is, that you can win custody and control and still lose your child's heart.

My wife worked min wage all her life and only has worked 2 years since the marriage 10 years ago. she quit her job last year. I am rep by ADAM and they will file for immediate removal from the home due to the endangerment to the child despite state 60day law. The home is jointly owned but the mortgage is in my name only, but due to economy upside down in the value and forced sale will result in her acquiring more debt. So I will agree to assume all debt in exchange for sole custody, and not request child support. My income is federally protected from her attaching for alimony.

Once again. Rude awakening. ADAM doesn't trump state law.

the biggest reason for divorcing her is her lifestysince leaving her job she remains stoned constantly and has use for over 15 years

And queens brings up a valid point as well, if her marijuana use has been endangering your child then why have you allowed it this whole time? We're you biding your time until something horrific happened?

Ignorance and affects of my mental disorder which is now stable for over a year. I also have a family support system locally. Her lifestyle choice of sloth is recent and she is unwilling to change or become active in our childs daily life. She refuses help with depression or selfesteem issues as her drug of choice is her therapy.

His reason can be he dont want this around his kid anymore. Just like if someone say no to sex it means NO. he dont want it around anymore because it got worse. The same if your hubby had a few drinks for years and now lost his job and was drunk all the time. You would not want it around your kids. For there safety.

I stick to my point. If your attorney was any good they would add the disclaimer that all this isn't up to them or you, it's up to a judge.