if he can't love you curvier then l question if he understands love, l know we all have preferences and he may not like the extra weight you've gained but if he's complaining about being there for you when its just weight where would he be if it was something more serious. Your partner should be your rock along with your lover and best friend if they aren't then what are they?

Control l've noticed tends to be the insecure persons way of having you not leave them...now there's irony!!!

Alright sorry for playing devils advocate here but perhaps he is meaning well but doing it wrong ( this is normal for both men and women)

He may be worried that your weight is unhealthy and trying to make you do this to help you and to help your BP but is just doing it in the complete wrong way.

Try talking to him and asking why he is doing this? If its for your own health then perhaps go to the doctor and see about getting a fitness program set up. One your hubby can help you with?

Have you educated him on your illness and weight gain side effects of medication? There are some great books out there. Also, remember it's hard to live with someone with a mental illness. I thank God everyday that my husband puts up with my mood swings. I still don't have a right to take things out on him.

It sounds like he is trying to encourage you. If your happy with your weight and don't want to work out that's fine. But, if deep down you're not, then make the healthy changes that are needed for your life and your marriage.

Don't let mental illness take over your marriage.

I can't leave because I have no where to go....no money no job.....looking to get on SSI with a lawyer.....and before when my parents said if I ever got kicked out they'd take me in......I just called and asked if they had any room for me and they're siding with him.....they won't take me in if he kicks me out.....I will be homeless with an 8 yr old....so I have to work out despite not wanting to because it hurts too much......

9 year old....sorry she just turned 9....I will be homeless with a 9 year old if he kicks me out....

I weigh 196 lbs too and just found out that my triglyceride levels are 5 times the normal level. Exercise can help it so I am choosing to get serious about my physical health. Maybe we could lose weight together you know message each other a couple of times a week on our progress and what kind of exercise we did, how it made us feel ect.... I need a workout buddy if I am going to be successful...how about it?

Maybe you need to not focus on the negatives and what MIGHT happen but look to what you should be doing or what might help the situation?

Sounds good. I just worked out on the bike today for 20 minutes and it made my thighs and chest hurt. I didn't feel any different.....I only felt worse. I didn't get a rise in my moods like working out should make you feel....

Usually if I start doign exercise after a long period of ... well.. not doing it. It doesnt initailly have any noticable benefits and I feel crappy afterwards.

After a while though you WILL start to feel better. I hope you manage to keep it up :D

Sorry Princess, it doesnt work that way.....after going a while without exercise your body is not used to it. At first, you will actually feel worse and then, gradually feel better. That is why persistence is so important. Dont give up until you give it a good try......after a few weeks, you will notice a difference and your chest burning will stop, mine did. I have been exercising for years and I no longer have issues at all with my mitral valve prolapse. The only thing I have to do now is take antibiotics before a dentist appt. for it.

wow, sorry this has happened to you. If it were me, I'd be looking for a new honey, no one tells me shit like that if they want me to stay around. Good luck, it was unkind and heartless

Let him file for divorce girl.What the hell kind of husband says that to his wife the woman he married because he loved her?????I'am sorry for coming on so strong but I put up with that kind of behavior from my ex for 13 years to long.I finally filed for divorce and have been away from him for 3 years now.Now I have the most understanding, caring, kind, and loving husband in the world.Please dont let him control you like this.God how that must of hurt you, or pissed you off one or the other.You deserve better!!!!!! Thinking of you~ Love, Jolynn

Thanks....I did feel hurt and offended. I just wish he'd think before he opens his mouth......Apparantly he said now whatever happens happens.....he's not gonna force me to go to the YMCA anymore. He said if I die I die....he's not concerned anymore.......I guess I should be happier.....And the parents even sided with him and promptly brought over their wii and wii fit for me to borrow. They demand I use it and I read on the package it even tracks your progress so maybe I don't have to go to the Y every day......maybe I can work out and use the wii fit. The days I don't work out do the wii fit.....I dunno.....But I do know that I always wanted to try the wii and wii fit....

Huh, I dont get it Princess..............if you always wanted to try it and your parents had it, why didnt you go to their house and try it? It might have averted your husband frustration in all this. I think he just wants to see you try or give it the effort you deserve. I think he just fears for your health and the more weight you gain, the more difficult it will be for you. Being over weight is not good for your mitral valve either. Much more dangerous than daily exercise. If you exercise 20 minutes a day, you get into the habit and it becomes easier. Maybe even get your daughter to do it will you since she is home for the summer now.

because my mom never had it set up at her house and didn't plan on setting it up. But they let me borrow it for a while....I just don't understand them sometimes.....