hi distarr, i am sorry you are going through this.
it takes a struggle to figure out how to manage one's illness.
we have to grow and learn and be as self responsible for our feelings as possible. the meds you will find will help you 'own' your mood fluctuations. and finding a safe space like coming onto this site to talk will be a life line as well.

I know it's not fun. And what makes it frustrating is that we have to be interpreters for others regarding our illnesses.
Regular people don't understand and they have feelings too.
They have feelings that they have to manage - and so it's hard for them to understand...

But you did right by yourself coming onto this site. It takes
effort to learn what to do for your feelings - and you can't always do it completely.

Peace!

Sorry you are feel so bad. I do relate. The depression can get so bad that we don't want to get out of bed, much less go for a walk. I used to try to do just one thing in a day that was positive. Like put clothes in the washer, wash a few dishes, or take a shower. It took me years to find the right meds to stabilize me and years of therapy also. It helps if you can try to accept your illness and stay on meds at the right doses. Remember, bipolar is a chemical imbalance in the brain and needs meds to correct it. I don't have PTSD, but I know it is helped with therapy. Are you seeing a therapist? I hope you will start to feel better soon. Welcome to the group.

Omg reading this i felt like it was a mirror i feel exactly the sammeeee wayyyy and i have those same diagnosis (plus a few others) but i honestly can say i feel your pain 10000000 percent i feel like no one understands no one knows truely unless they have those days ...hugs to u and proud of you for being brave to say how u feel because its hard so hard

Hello Distarr. Welcome to DS.

Physical illnesses might carry less stigma than mental illnesses, but I don't believe they are any easier to go through. Even minor illnesses are a booger bear for the patient and everybody involved. Ply gentle patience whenever possible.

You found a place where people have stood in the same shoes. Hope you find healing companionship here.

Welcome to the board distarr ...... I'm glad that you've found us..... This is a good group

I found that embracing the disorder was the best thing that I could do for myself.... It was actually a big weight off of my shoulders to be diagnosed .... I then knew what was wrong and I knew it was chronic BUT treatable

I think acceptance with be a big gift to you sweetie..... People now a days I don't think are shocked by mental illness .... The world is becoming a more understanding place

No one gets through this life without something to deal with......

Be kind to you.... You deserve it

Depression is the pits .... It's good that you're back on meds..... My pdoc wanted me to try a 'Happy Lamp' and I did over the winter.... I think that it helped some

If you stopped meds for a while it might take a while for you to find stability again but you will

This is a good board with some pretty great people..... Big hug.....xo

There is also an active PTSD board here that might be of help to you.....xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd

Welcome to the board. Bipolar can be different for everyone. For some it can change in time.

I know personally it took years to find the right med combination and that changed when I needed to change medications when one was no longer working for example. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s a chronic, life long illness. This is a great place though, and you’re not alone!

You are doing a good thing by reaching out!

Hello and welcome. This is a great group for support and commiserating. We've all been there or are still there right now, like me. We all understand the sometimes insurmountable daily struggle, the isolation, the overwhelming painful emotions.

And depression just makes all of that more intense and overwhelming, so it's super important to get the right meds going for you so you can find stability. I'm on rexulti right now too and it's really helped me. I'm not anywhere close to 100% but it's a work in progress. Hopefully you can titrate the lamictal upwards again and combined with the rexulti it evens things out a bit more. Unfortunately theres literally thousands of med combos and no one knows what will work for you.

Bopolar highs and lows can come frequently, Infrequently, and last for months or maybe just days or weeks. It seems like theres little rhyme or reason to anything with this illness and that makes it that much more frustrating.

The comorbid diagnosis of PTSD makes treatment even harder. I'm curious about what bipolar combined with ptsd feels like, I believe I may have the same due to traumas I experienced during a manic episode.

And I've said the same thing, no one understands how this feels unless you've been in our shoes. It's so unfair and I've grieved this diagnosis more times than I can count. All we can do is manage it as best as we can and tough out the bad times.

Hugs

This is my first post in the group. I'm sorry you're feeling so depressed. I feel like I'm on the right meds for once since my diagnosis almost 20 yrs ago. But still get the depression. I haven't had a manic episode since I've been on abilify for about 2 yrs now. I'm taking 5 meds for my bipolar and ADHD. I take abilify and dexedrine in the a.m. and seroquel, klonopin, and ambien at night right before I go to bed. I need all 3 to be able to sleep. I still wake up a couple to a few times in the middle of the night. Both the seroquel and abilify can cause weight gain due to an increase in appetite. The worst part is when I wake up in the night I'm hungry and have gotten in the bad habit of eating icecream and then going back to sleep. I've gained about 40 lbs since on the abilify, which makes me feel depressed. I stay in bed all day at least once or twice a month because of my depression. I also have fibromyalgia which can cause severe fatigue. I don't take anything for the fibro, but, haven't had a lot of pain from the fibro like I have experienced in the past. The dexedrine is for my ADHD but may also help me in regards to my fatigue. I also feel that I have PTSD, from a few traumas I've experienced in my life. I'm not seeing a therapist anymore, just my psychiatrist every 2 months for med reviews. I really don't like my psychiatrist and am looking for a new one. I had the same psychiatrist that I loved for about 15 yrs but he retired early from practicing and I had to find a new one. I liked the new one a lot but then he left the clinic and I'm now seeing my 3rd psychiatrist...the one that I don't like that well. All I can say to you is to definitely stay on your meds and if you decide with the assistance of your doctor to go off a med please wean yourself off of the med don't stop it cold turkey. I'm on disability, but know alot about mental health and psychotropic meds since I was a social worker for years in the mental health field, before going on disability. I still have a hard time accepting the fact that I will be on meds for the rest of my life. I don't know what to say about that. Part of my depression stems from that as well as accepting my bipolar diagnosis. I don't care how long one has been diagnosed with a mental illness, I think it may be difficult for most to fully accept it. About your brother giving you a hard time and saying you should be able to snap out of it, that's just ridiculous! Are you seeing a therapist? Maybe that would help. I'm not seeing one any more because my therapist felt that I didn't need it any longer at this time. I do a lot of journaling and meditation work on my own. It helps a lot. Well, I hope something that I've said may help you. I hope so. Stay strong and as confident as you can.

Thank you all so much for replying and sharing your stories!!
I get so sick of the pain it’s so nice to have somewhere where people understand, it makes me feel better, it’s been really bad lately...
we have to stay strong and much love to all of you!