I don't understand what you mean about making excuses.......
I hate my life for a lot of reasons

I have a husband who could care less if
I died just as long as I was fulfilling my
wifely duties before I died

He doesn't appreciate me

He doesn't tell me I look good anymore

He calls me fat all the time

My mom just wants me to be a carbon copy of her
someone's sole purpose in life is to clean up after
everyone with no appreciation at all.

I feel fat already as if hearing it from my hubby makes
me feel worse.....

I am so flat I want to rip my hair out

I have a caseworker who was once for me trying it kmed
free now is totally against it because my pdoc wants me
to stay on meds.


i am not so sure I even love my husband anymore

I just live here because I don't want to be alone
and I would have no where else to go.

And did I mention I lost my sex drive and sex appeal? That tops the cake.....

Why do you ALLOW your husband and mother to treat you that way?

I guess it comes down to being alone without family or friends......

I want to be liked and loved and I end up getting stepped on a lot......

We all want to be loved but what you're getting isnt love.

Love is when they respect and appreciate you, not what you can do for them, but you just you.

What you have is someone who wants a slave and has it. They dont even appreciate it.

Who cares about other people. GIVE YOURSELF SOME VALUE!
When you start to value yourself then tohers will be forced to follow.

BPP, have you thought about seeing a therapist and figuring out how to draw boundaries. I found that really helpful. I still find it difficult, but it is helpful in getting people to stop walking all over me.

I should probably start with telling the hubby to stop calling me fat or I will leave and he will have to find his slave elsewhere. But if I do that then I will have no where to go and the parents told me if my marriage fails they won't take me back in......

This is what I wrote to the hubby......i had to stand up for myself somewhere..........


I don't ever want to hear you call me fat again You must
start telling me how good I look from now on.You say you do it but
you really don't. I know you don't. I want to hear how
good I look every day Otherwise when I
get my ssi approved I will leave.

While his callng you names in uncalled for.....if you want respect you must first give it. I have never heard you say that you thank him for working and paying all the bills and keeping a roof over your head. If he is asking that you put in as much effort as he does, I can't see where that is too much to ask. As far as your parents talking you back in.....what? You are a grown woman, you can't expect your parents to bail you out. If you can work, go to work and make enough money for your own place then no one will tell you to clean it up.

Bravo, madmark... Exactly... Thank you for saying what everyone on this board was thinking...

Why do you stay with someone who is so mentally abusive towards you? If you are unsure you love him and just suffer so much abuse at the hands of him why not find out who you are, you don't need someone like that in your life if you feel so bad.

threats never work...they just cause pain and resentment.

all I gotta say is there's always two sides to a story.

He threatened me.....if he can do it I can do it too. i am serious about him respecting me and treatng me good. I will stand by my threat. If he doesn't start telling me how good I look every day when I have the means I will find someone else who will.

Oh dear BPP. I really dont think you know what a relationship or a marriage is