Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) Support Group
Acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), also known as acute myeloid leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of blood cells. Patients with AML usually present with symptoms such as fatigue, bleeding, infection, prompting medical attention. An abnormal blood test reading will then result in further testing in a hospital with a hematologist to determine AML.
YOU are still a strong, funny, vibrant beautiful woman who is just going through a dark time right now but YOU will come back. I don't know why some people are cured and others who on paper seem like they should have it easier and it just doesn't work. I'm sorry things are so hard right now and I'm really do understand. I feel like I've become very negative person and I was never like this before. I get very jealous of our friends and family who are just continuing with their lives going out to dinner and on vacations but I am trying not to be this way any more and I do see things improving. I understand the fear and it's so hard to get past it but you can, I pray with everyone on this site Tony will be there with you to help raise your children but if he is not YOU will do it because YOU are a strong,funny,vibrant,beautiful women. I hope you can find some peace.
Margaret
I don't have any answers for you but you and Tony are heavy on my heart and I feel like I have to write something, hoping that it will comfort you in some way. At my last visit my doctor confessed that they really don't know why some donors have more active cells than others, why their cells can successfully initiate a GVL effect while the GVHD is still manageable. If they knew how to achieve this for all patients this disease would be curable in all but the most extreme and aggressive cases. So when you ask why it works for some and not for others I'm afraid there is no answer.
I cannot imagine the stress you're under and your tiredness is understandable. Pregnancy itself is tiring, the worries that this sickness brings makes it that much worse. I'm sure you sleep very little and when you do it's from sheer exhaustion. I can only speak from a patient's standpoint but I'm sure the caregiver's role is much more difficult. Your strength is amazing.
I'm Catholic, as I think you are, but it really doesn't matter, we're all God's children. I don't attend mass regularly any more but today I did. I did because I wanted to light a candle and say a prayer for you and your whole family. I asked for God to comfort you, to place His healing hands on Tony, to descend the Holy Spirit upon your home. And may He look upon you kindly and give you peace. If I had such powers I would cure Tony and all those suffering with this disease instantly. But sadly I cannot, all I can do is offer my comfort, my friendship. my prayers. So that I do, and I will continue to do so for you and all the AML warriors for every remaining day I have on this earth. Please know that I and all your friends on DS will be here to offer whatever help we can at all times.
Blessings,
Lou
I can't think of anything to say that hasn't already been said, but wanted to let you know that your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs and prayers.
Karen
My heart just literally aches for you, Tony, Izzy and Baby P. I have no answers as to why. I do know that this is a special place where we should feel free to vent, cry out, scream, shout ect
Margaret's words ring so true to me. I love that Lou lit a candle for you and offered up prayers. I too pray daily for you.
Blessings,
Julie
Debbie
TwoBoyz - thank you for making me feel,well, not so alone
Lou- thank you from the bottle m of my heart
Julie- as always, well...you know ;), Margaret- you know how I feel relative to everyone, xoxo
Debbie & everydy, thank you both for your kind words and prayers
I have never and will never stop praying for your precious family. My family will pray specifically for a chimerism above 95. When will you know?
Blessings
Julie
Prayers still coming daily. I will pray specifically tonight for chimerism results.
My heart just aches for what you are having to go through. All of these things you are feeling are normal and understandable. I do believe that God has a plan in all of this and it will pass in due time.
I have recently found a good exercise to focus my faith and calm my brain when I start to despair. It is from a 18th century priest name Jean Pierre de Caussade. His Jesuit background and work with nuns in the mid 1700s resulted in teachings now called divine abandonment. It is difficult, but his number 1 tenant is simply this: Want things to be exactly as they are.
In this regard we surrender to God that we are instruments in his Divine plan. Since he loves us, we know that his plan is best, even if we don't understand it. If his plan is best then we have nothing to fear.
I hesitate even writing this because it is so difficult for me to live this daily, but when I do, the peace that comes from it is on another level. Perhaps meditating on that statement will bring you some peace in this hard time.
You and Tony and the family are in our prayers daily.
John
Starting chemo again either Sat or Monday, trying Aza plus Mylotarg (Mylotarg is not fda approved in US but used in Europe) we got "compassionate care" approval. It has a lot of good results with CBF like miss like Tony's
We were on the fence about taking this path or maybe just going straight to CLAG now to get it over with, it's been a very overwhelming day and we are pretty confused now bc of the counts dropping. I lost it finally during the meeting was his Dr, vented, and regrouped.
Please continue to pray for Tony, and our family
I'm happy the donor % is up but sorry counts are down. If Tony goes straight to the CLAG and into remission are they looking to do a 2nd transplant or continue with the DLI's. just curious.
We of course are sending prayers for all of you :)
Margaret
I'm no expert but isn't it better news that the percents are up than the fickle counts? Especially platelets?
Twilight