guitarwes

..I know it's a normal thing to try to self medicate and cope when going through rough times..But i think i may be loosing control. I've been drinking for a few weeks...and very heavily the last 4...

Its hilarious...  Im here sitting drinking ..listening to my stbx and i's old songs...missing her like crazy....can even smell her! And she just texted me saying she had a shitty weekend because...

Sigh... I feel so hopeless tonight... been drinking for days..just to try to kill the pain for even minutes. So' im just sitting here drinking and listening to our old songs...it hurts yet i keep...

Finding today very hard. My family is gone away on a cruise for my parents 25th anniversary. My ex wife texted me last night drunk, telling me how much she misses me and all this garbage...of...

Or lack there of? I know things are going WELL for me right now...getting back in shape, eating better...controlling the drinking. I don't really dwell on my ex much anymore...today was very tough...

  We'll today's my Birthday, yey. I know today's going to be hard, every year my wife and I did special things for our birthday's..Not this year. Woke up way to early today, unfortunatly now i...

So i woke up on Monday with a horrible feeling. I felt this feeling before...I was 16...300 pounds, never had a girlfriend yada yada ya know. And i said to myself, What the fuck am i doing to myself?...

7:22AM on a Sat...what am i doing awake? Oh wait i know, im sitting here thinking about what my ex was doing last night. sigh, how do i forget. I do not want to love her anymore.

I feel unhappyI feel so sadI'v lost the best friendThat I ever hadShe was my womanI loved her soBut it's too late nowI've let her goI'm going through changesI'm going through changesWe shared the...

You know, for so many year's i honestly thought my wife was the reason i was unhappy, she wasnt the greatest early on our marriage, her depression and anxiety eventually brought me into it also. I...

I was in my hotmail account earlier this evening....came across a folder,"Keely" my ex wifes name...opened it up and it was every Email we ever sent eachother. We had to do a long distance...

  Instead of another vent journal I think im going to try to take a different route with this one..... I want to change.  I want to know what it feels like to be happy, I want to know what it...

Havent really payed attention but going over my ex wifes and I's text's.... Im just wes now... no hun.. no babe.. just..."wes" That realization really....really hurt.

I'm all messed up!! Nothing new..lol I just would really like some balance in my life right now..between Work, Music and family/friends...and of course, my head. I am not sure how i feel today, to...

Woke up this morning after about 3 hours sleep to get ready for a fun day at work. As soon as i opened my eyes i got that dread feeling, the "bad" butterfly's in the stomach and started getting...