dinorachel
Status:
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- When I was 17, I started to try to recover from my long, long battle with self-injury. It had become (and I guess still is) such a huge part of my life that I found myself unable to cope without it. There was all the stress of college applications...
- I know it's petty and I know I should just get over myself because seriously. I am an "adult" now and should handle myself better than I do. But. My sister has always been the perfect child in our household. She's always been nicer, smarter, more...
- So, my ex-boyfriend, who I happen to still care about because why wouldnt I, fell down some stairs and hit his head recently after taking too much sleep medicine, his sister tells me. He was in the ICU with hemorrhaging and a fractured back and no...
- It hasn't been this bad in ages. Everything is piling up on top of me and I know I'm just letting it and I'm not even trying to get anything done. I skipped most of my classes yesterday, took a nap that consumed my whole day, and neglected...
- In November my favorite uncle unexpectedly died. He committed suicide shortly after his father went into rehab after a particularly bad bout of pneumonia. He was apparently bipolar (it's amazing the things you learn after such a thing happens),...
- Hey, guys. Haven't been here in a long while because I've been mostly better. Haven't hurt myself since December and have felt fairly happy. But that's not so anymore.Just started my freshman year of college in a new town where I know nobody. So...
- I wonder how many things I title "I can't do this." ...apparently quite a few; my internet browser recognizes the phrase. Ha.Anywho. It's been six months since I last cut. And I can't do this anymore. I've been getting increasingly anxious and...
- I am so stressed, and so scared. After seven years of passionate excitement to go to college and move away from my boring little town, it's finally happening. And I'm terrified. I don't know how to say goodbye to my friends, my home -- everything...
- I asked for help. I'm going back to counseling, of my own will for the first time. I'm terrified. But it'll be alright, I guess. Everything will be fine. I just had to let someone know.
- I asked for counseling. I packed up all my fears and admitted I'm not okay (in much fewer words, of course -- it was kinda like, "Mom, can I go back to counseling? Thanks"). So I'm going back to counseling. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm...
- I know I've never really been happy; I know it's a crippling sadness. But labeling it, admitting openly that I have a problem terrifies me. One of my closest friends mentioned that I was depressed to me, and now I feel like I've lost all ability to...
- For the new year, I told myself I'd stop cutting (because at the time I had "FUCK" healing on my arm, very visibly and it freaked me out). And even though I know I've set myself up for failure, I want to stick to it as long as possible. Of course,...
- I'm so much more emotionally unstable than usual. I've taken to eating ten, fifteen ibuprofen at a time, then cutting -- because it bleeds so much more. I panic about everything, curl up in a ball on my bedroom floor and shake and cry until I fall...
- I want to stop for ME, only for me. I want to stop so I can get the tattoo I've dreamed of for ages. On the anniversary of one year without self-injury, I'm getting "so it goes." (from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five; I love love love that man...
- Whenever I deduce that a friend/acquaintance/whatever of mine is hurting him- or herself, I want to speak up. I want to tell them to stop, I want to explain what a terrible thing it is, I want to help. But I never do. I'm not able to. I can't say,...