Self-Injury Support Group
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In November my favorite uncle unexpectedly died. He committed suicide shortly after his father went into rehab after a particularly bad bout of pneumonia. He was apparently bipolar (it's amazing the things you learn after such a thing happens), left his siblings and his dad, his wife. He left me. We weren't too too close, but we would have been great friends after I got out of my awkward young adulthood. He and I had so much in common, and always made each other laugh when we got together. Of course, now we'll never get to know what could have been.
The funeral was put off after his death -- he died a week before Thanksgiving and his wife didn't want to put any more stress and pain on the holiday season. So my uncle was cremated and we will hold funeral services for him in February.
And this back story brings me into what I'm currently feeling. I haven't yet properly said my goodbyes. I feel like I can't find complete closure until after the funeral. So I've been floating along these past couple months trying to just...not forget, but move on with my life. And of course in my mind that means forget it ever happened and then remember painfully when I have to.
So the funeral's in a month and I'm becoming overwhelmed with little bouts of realization that my uncle has died and I'm going to have to face that. And it's just so terribly painful. I feel like I can't do anything but sit and reminisce whenever I'm struck with the realization and it just...it's awful. I feel awful. I miss my uncle.
The funeral was put off after his death -- he died a week before Thanksgiving and his wife didn't want to put any more stress and pain on the holiday season. So my uncle was cremated and we will hold funeral services for him in February.
And this back story brings me into what I'm currently feeling. I haven't yet properly said my goodbyes. I feel like I can't find complete closure until after the funeral. So I've been floating along these past couple months trying to just...not forget, but move on with my life. And of course in my mind that means forget it ever happened and then remember painfully when I have to.
So the funeral's in a month and I'm becoming overwhelmed with little bouts of realization that my uncle has died and I'm going to have to face that. And it's just so terribly painful. I feel like I can't do anything but sit and reminisce whenever I'm struck with the realization and it just...it's awful. I feel awful. I miss my uncle.
deleted_user
Just think of all of the great days you did have with him. There is only one really bad day and that day can be forgot if you just only remember the fun days. Maybe go to a place you particularly love, or a place you know he loved. Sit and talk to him about remember when.... this can have very healing effects on people. In Feb, when the funeral will be, that will give you the proper time to mourn. But until then, keep his spirit alive with nothing but fond memories. Suicide is a horible thing, but it is a very personal thing. He did not do it to hurt anybody, even himself. He did it because he was in pain and did not think that there was anyway out, no way to fix whatever it was that was broken. Do not take his suicide personally. Nobody should.
ArtistMWS
sn's right; the best way to deal with a loved one's passing is to try and remember all the good times; maybe even put a photo collage together of some of your best memories with him if you have some pictures you can use.
loum50
My wife passed away in July 2011. I cry a little bit every day. I think it depends how close you were. You could try writing him a letter and express your feelings. Maybe share it with a therapist or close friend.
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