38widow

Today marks 11 months.  I have cried, screamed, hit things, but I still feel hollow.  I also thought about all I've done in the last 11 months.  In the middle of crying, screaming, and hitting I...

It's been almost ten months since Tom died.  For the first time since then, I've thought about dating without wanting to throw up.  I'm scared that it's only because I'm soooooooooooo lonely.  For...

I feel so sad today.  Just out of the blue.  I thought I've been doing so well.  Then...BAM!!!  Things suck again.  That dark hopeless feeling again.  The holidays are coming.  They scare me...

Dear Thomas Tomorrow you would have been 40.  Why aren't you here?  Why can't I plan a surprise party for you?  Why aren't we making plans to be together as a family?  This is so fucking unfair!...

Not only did I lose my husband, but I lost me too.  The old me was fun loving, carefree, and always made everyone around me laugh.  I can never be that person again.  I know the other side of the...

Yesterday marked 7 months since I lost my old life.  I cried a lot. But I didn't stay home and cry all day.  I've been working out.  I figure it is a healthy way to relieve stress.  Hey...I may...

Wow.  In five days it will be five months since Tom died.  I can't believe I'm still breathing.  I force myself to get up everyday and keep going for my kids.  Everyone keeps telling me that I'm...

Oh my god!!  This is much harder than I ever thought possible.  It's my birthday. He's not here to make it special for me.  There's nothing to look forward to.  I am so sad.  Sad isn't the right...

As my birthday approaches, I realize that I think of special occasions with a different perspective now.  I used to look forward to holidays and anniversaries.  Now I dread them.  I survived...

I just reached the two month mark of my husband's passing.  This is so hard.  I want him back!  This is so unfair!  Why is this happening to me?  I feel so empty and lost.  I miss feeling...