gro100
Status:
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver...
- Five doctors went to on a duck hunt: a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist. After a while a bird came winging overhead, the GP raised his shogun but didn’t shoot because he wasn’t sure if it was a duck or not. The...
- Barack Obama is out on the campaign trail, and he visits a retirement home to talk about social security and medicare. He’s mingling with some of the residents and one older woman catches his eye.He asks her, “How do you like living here?”She...
- As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be...
- Two guys were on lake fishing, using worms. One of the guys gets a nibble and reels in his line. He caught a bottle. He uncorks the bottle and out come a genie. He grants him one wish, so the guy thinks and thinks. Finnaly he said: "I wish this...
- A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of...
- I found this on another site, and thought it was worth sharing:The most dreaded, misunderstood, misinterpreted, misused, destructive term in COPD, End-Stage. The newly diagnosed, or those with first, second, and third stage COPD may never have heard...
- A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."He...
- We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me,...
- “The happiness in your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
- A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath."Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"Embarrassed, the...
- A couple both age 67, went to a sex therapist's office The doctor asked, what can I do for you? The man said, Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, There's...
- Two blondes were building a house. One saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into. "Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?" "Well, when I pull...
- A blonde hears that redheads have more fun, so decides to dye her hair red, and, of course, have it curled.She's driving her little BMW Z3 through the countryside and comes to a flock of sheep. She watches the sheep and thinks they are so cute.She...
- A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become...