gro100
Status:
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- •GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. •COLIN POWELL Now...
- A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded...
- Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives. And yet they’re as popular as, well, a colonoscopy. Here are comments purportedly made by patients to physicians during their procedures.“Now I know how a Muppet...
- Once two blondes and a brunette got stuck in the elevator.One blonde starts to shout:- Help!!!The other one:- Help!!!A brunette brings in an advice:- Girls, shout together, it will be louder.The blondes shout:- Together!!! Together!!!...
- A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks....
- After a checkup, a doctor asked his patient, “Is there anything you’d like to discuss?”“Well,” said the patient, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”“That’s a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?”“Yes,...
- A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A...
- Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to...
- Jay went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!” “Just put...
- A doctor walks into an examination room and sees a man sitting on the table looking pretty sick. “Flu?” he asks.“No, I drove here”, the man says.
- I've sure gotten old!I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and...
- What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?It gets toad away.
- Two hunters had rented an airplane to get to the distant forest zone. After couple of weeks the pilot returned to take them back. After looking at their hunting trophies he said:The plane won’t be able to carry more than one buffalo. You will have...
- http://www.industrytap.com/man-flies-plane-repaired-duct-tape-bear-attack-anything-duct-tape-cant-fix/17965
- Guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of wine. The bartender serves the drink and the guy throws the drink in the bartenders face. The bartender is stunned and asks "Why did you do that?" The guy says "Oh I'm sorry I really didn't mean to do...