JennyN
Status: Living, learning, & loving!
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- a t-shirt that says:Better to have loved and lost than to spend the rest of my life with that PSYCHO!!My daughter got it for me! :o)
- Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?""Yes, Father, it is.""And who was the girl you were with?""I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation"Well,...
- A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom."Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to...
- A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf...
- *My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about...
- There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie - poof it swallows you up.A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They...
- but many non-living things have a gender.1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective...
- Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she sees an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a...
- The teacher at our local school gave her fifth grade class an assignment:When you go home tonight I want you to get your parents to sit down and tell you a little story with a "moral" at the end of it.So the next day the kids came back and one by...
- Persian RugsA very attractive, well dressed, woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and finds the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it.As she bends over to feel the texture of the rug, she farts loudly....
- MORNING SEXShe was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.He walked in; She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very moment.'His eyes lit up and he thought,'This is my lucky day.'Not wanting to lose the moment, he...
- For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the...
- one day little jimmy and his dad went to a horse sale and his dad went from horse to horse feeling up and down the legs and everywhere else.then little jimmy asked," why are you doing that."the dad answered ," i am checking the quality to see if i...
- A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire....Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.......
- Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have multiple...