The teacher at our local school gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

When you go home tonight I want you to get your parents to sit down
and tell you a little story with a "moral" at the end of it.

So the next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Barb.

She is a Chopper Pilot in the air force and on one mission her chopper got hit.

She had to set that sucker down right in the middle of enemy territory and
all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol with an extra clip and a survival knife.

So she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break when she crashed, then her chopper landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed
the last man with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher.

"What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible
story?"

"Stay the f*ck away from Aunt Barb when she's drinking......