Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi Everybody,
Once in awhile in the past we have done a Roll Call post to see who is here and why/how we got here. It's been sometime since we did one, and I thought now might be a good time to let others know you're here and why. That and apparently we're back up to 2,000 members!
Please don't post any last names or your kids' names - those should be kept private for your safety - this is a public forum.
I will start:
I am Cliffskat, my name is Martha, I lost my husband Cliff to an unexpected heart attack in November 2007. He was only 55, I was only 50 when he died. We had just celebrated being together for 30 years. I joined DS a couple weeks after he died. I became a "Community Leader" or "CL" for short in March of 2011. My friends from those early days have mostly moved on with their lives, but I remember them with great affection and gratitude for the help and understanding they gave me. I stayed to help others get through their losses like they helped me. I met my new husband in this group (he is a widower), and we married in 2010. I moved from Florida to England as my new husband is British (and a fellow CL here). I also have two beautiful autistic sons. My life looks nothing like it did before I lost Cliff. But it is good for the most part.
Okay, who else is here???
Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader
I don't post that often, but I am so very grateful for this site. I came to it about a week or so after he passed. Most of the time I just read and either a post or a comment gives me a strength for the day. I don't leave comments that often because in most cases someone has already said it and said it better than I could have. And sometimes I just feel so lost that I don't feel anything I could say would help. I do want you to know that I love you all. I am truly grateful for you. I think that the hardest part of being a widow is the horrible loneliness. You have no one to go to anymore. When he left I lost myself. Every one here lives that too. I pray for your peace, happiness, and blessings always.
My husband passed away December 2007 from sudden cardiac arrest. We were married for 37 1/2 years, dated 2 years before we were married. So, 40.5 years of my life was spent with the love of my life. It was so sudden! I will never forget the shock and the pain of those first days, weeks, months. We have 3 adult children, and at that time had 6 grandchildren. Our youngest daughter married the year after Joe died and now has a 4 year old daughter, and a 7 week old son. (Yes! He is a doll, as is his sister.)
Looking at this page, I see so many new people, and only a couple who were here when I found this site in 2009. I stayed on for a long time hoping to help someone along the way. Then, I drifted in & out here for awhile. When the board was changed, it became very difficult to get on here.
I've not been here very much in quite sometime. I couldn't get back on the site for a long time! So, kind of got out of the habit of checking in. I finally got back for a couple of times and then my laptop stopped working. I am on my IPad now, which isn't quite as easy to use (for me). I do not like the new board at all! Can't seem to find my way around very well. The old board was much friendlier!
To all newly widowed, sorry for your loss! It is a life changing event! I know, if you are like most of us, you don't want to hear that TIME does help. We all want the hurt and grieving to just go away. Sorry, I wish we could make it happen that way, but, it doesn't. It does begin to ease off eventually. You do have to grieve and do not let anyone tell you that you "will get over it", or that you should start getting better shortly. Everyone grieves in their own way. Bless each one of you as you travel on this new journey.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
So here goes; I'm George, (aka BrokenGeo) widowed June 7th 2013. My wife Diane (Deanna) died of liver cancer after 6 weeks of increasingly horrendous pain. After the passage of time I have come to accept the only consolation available, that she is now no longer in pain.
Now the comparison. As (some of) you know this roll call thing was started long ago by Missmyhero. I picked it up again May 9th 2015 with a total reply tally of 165. I restarted it again Jan. 3rd 2015 with a total tally of 119.This current roll call has appears to have a total tally of about 51. Wow, this is a far cry from previous roll calls. It would appear that many of the previous format group have left.
I, myself stop in for a quick look almost daily to see if any of the old gang has posted etc., but there appear to be fewer and fewer doing so. But I do suspect that probably quite a few do stop in like I do just to check but, like I, are discouraged and put off by the new format. For me at least, it is lacking the more personal, intimate(?) touch and flexability of the old format. But like all things in life, change is inevitable and unfortunately, as we all here know, not always for the better.
For all those that know only this format, in defense of this version of WW that, in regards to what you are going through, this site is where you belong and will get the help you need and can only get from others in our position. Here, everybody can cry on each others shoulders and yes, I really does help a lot.
As Always, Best Regards, George.
widowed 04/14/2017 (edited to add) after 39 years of marriage. My husband was 61.
We fought CRC w/ mets for 5 years. Even thought we had it beat at one point. Not so much.
WTF?
I am the queen of laughing myself out of whatever the current Misery is in life ;-)
"Don't cry because it is over......Smile because it happened.".......Dr.Seuss