Hi Martha. My name is Todd (top4874) I lost my wife of 21 years on February 19 2019 @ 7:02pm to lung cancer. She was diagnosed on December 15, 2017 and was originally given 2 months to live. She fought for 14 months until her body gave out. She never lost her fighting spirit and every time that woke her, she would flash me her beautiful smile.

These first few months have been extremely tough. I have started seeing a grief counselor and started keeping a journal from time to time. Finding this forum was a gift. I was looking for a local support group and the search brought me here. I have connected with a few people that really understand what I am going through. You can't put a price tag on that type of understanding.

Hi. I lost my husband April 1, 2019 so I am approaching the 2 months time. I cry everyday but am trying to move forward. It is very difficult. My husband died of myelodysplastic syndrome which morphed into AML. It was a very rare cancer and he had a combination of cancers that was extremely rare. I realize now they had no idea how to treat him or what would happen. He was diagnosed a year ago so it was actually a very fast illness although it sure didn't feel that way. The last three months of his illness were horrible and how he died was awful. I try not to think too much about that because it causes an intense grief that I can barely pull out of. I miss him very much. I have 2 children, a 20 year old and a 17 year old. My son is also on the autism spectrum but does very well. He is worried that I won't be happy until I die. I have tried to reassure him that he and my daughter still make me happy, I am glad you have posted this. It seems that this site isn't very active but I have made one friend that we are trying to communicate with daily. I also am attending some grief groups.

Hi Martha I'm Will. It's been almost nine years since Lynn passed and I'm still moving on with my life. I think about Lynn everyday. I was away from DS for a while, but have come back because I enjoy being supportive of friends here on DS.

Hi everyone, my first time here.
Lost my wife Cherie 18 months ago, we were together for 33 years, Cher had cancer and fibrosis. It was a second marriage, my first wife Anne passed with hodgkinsons cancer when she was just 33 and I loved them both dearly.

Thought I was beginning to move on (Ha!!) it was a song, which brought back a memory, which broke me again. Please don't get me wrong I was blessed to have met two women who did me the honour of loving me back, but sometimes I can't help feeling angry, lost, and cheated ( I even blame them on rare occasions if am honest, but that's just me being selfish ) I would have walked in front of a bus for either of them.


Damn it hurts, guess it always will. I have a family that is so very supportive but know that nothing they can do will fill that hole, they try and I love them so very much for that. Sorry if this post comes over as a negative, because I am not a negative soul and am determined not to become one, I love life, my children, and my grandchildren, I just am still getting lost in the mist. So, Hi everyone, this is me and where I am at.

Hi Martha, I lost my husband (56) to renal CA , Oct. 2015, And like you I was left with someone on the autism spectrum to care for. I hope like you I am able to find someone to share my life with again. I have to say that it doesn’t get easier and sometimes I just cry because I’m missing him very much or I’m angry because he left the weight of the world on me. Either way, it just doesn’t get easier but, I believe you learn to cope better.

Hi Martha. Don transitioned 2/5/13 from liver and throat cancer. We had 13 years together. Like you I found another love, a widower. We have been together over a year now. My life is totally different.

Hey Cliffscat, long time.
June 12 was the 4 year anniversary of Marylou's Spirit Birthday. Been through alot of changes. But it's getting better.
For one reason, my belief that we don't "die", and we don't "lose" them, is not just a "phase of grief" that you "get over" and get back to "reality" or some such nonsense, but has evolved into "knowing" that we'll be with them again.
Another reason is that I have learned that we are born to love, and I have found happiness again with a wonderful lady.
But this format still sucks. I want the old DS back.

My first husband died on the job in 1978 before this wonderful helpful site. My second husband in 2016. I come on here now off and on to read others posts to see if i can help and also to receive.I still am in a roller coaster of emotions and find this site still to be one of the best places for help. I like the anonymity here as i can post my true feelings without being chastised. I recommend this site to others as well ,and when i actually went to see a psychologist i told her about this place. I still find this site to be the best place for help. Thank you ( Hugs)

Two friends have just joined the club no one wants to belong to b- the Widows Club - within two weeks of each other. I hope I will be able to help them, but even after all these years, I wonder what the best way to help them will be.

I miss the old DS, too. There's not much else out there - I have looked. So I still come here, and hopefully this place still helps, even if it's not as dynamic as it used to be. Good to hear from the "old-timers" here, too.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Hi Marsha,
After 6 years I still come around even though I am doing good on my journey . Coming here keeps me more grounded and helps me offer support in return . I remember coming here in the beginning and reading posts of encouragement from those further along in their journey and those posts would make me feel hope that I too could get there . It made me believe that things would improved with my grieve . It showed me that some issues were parts of grieving and normal.

Hi all, Jan here, been on this site for a few years. My husband passed away of pancreatic cancer after a 9 month battle. It's been 9 yrs but I miss and think about him every single day. Life goes on. I keep busy with family, nature, friends and take one day at a time. This loss in my heart will never heal or go away, learned that over the past years but I CAN cope with this loss and thank God I was blessed to have him for my husband. I try to reflect on the many wonderful memories of our life together, it was magical and true love, soul mate if you will. This site has helped me to realize I'm not alone in my grief. To people who have messaged me, thank you, means the world to me to know people care. Love to all on this site and we will survive. Take care, Jan.

Hi Martha and friends. I'm Sharon. I joined Daily Strength after losing my husband to lung cancer in June 2007. Yes, it's 12 years ago. I was very active and became a community leader here. I would like to reconnect and be available for conversations again. Hope you would be interested in my story too.

Hi Martha,
Jeanne here kind of an oldie here,don't get on to much lost my husband 4 years ago. It does get better that I know.
Hugs to all, Jeanne

Hello Martha: I am new to this group. I lost the love of my life on 16 September 2019. My Maria was my everything. She was my wife, mother to our 5 children (1 of whom suddenly passed away from a congenital heart defect at age 22 and our son-in-law committed suicide in April of 2019), my best friend, confidant and lover. I feel so alone and lonely in this and I feel like I am on a row boat with no oars and adrift in uncharted waters. I am hoping to get support through all this. I am sick of all the platitudes like shes is in a better place, it was God's plan, or having people actually bash her memory because she made mistakes as a parent, a wife and as a human being.

Hi Everyone I'm Michele.
I lost my husband May 20th of 2009 to cancer. It has been a long journey to where I am today. I don't remember the six months after he passed away. I lost my mind for at least a year. I have fallen in love and remarried as David asked me to do and am now scared as hell to lose Jim... His health has declined since we met and it makes me a little crazy.
A dear friends' husband passed from a very similar cancer last Sunday. I'm looking to support her as much as I can. That's why I'm here, to get support from you, to support her, and maybe some for me too.
That's the super short skinny of why I'm here.
It's a crap club we all belong to... Thank you for being available though.