Hi I'm handg
I have been coming here since 2013 after losing my husband to Cancer shortly after a diagnostic. (8 days after)
This place showed me that no matter the pain, someone else had it just as bad , if not worse.
One thing I noticed early on was that some posters who had been here a bit longer were sharing posts that gave me hope and help me move forward on my journey.
I was broken , now after 6 years, I am not quite a phoenix but I am living life once again .
Once I was 48 years old, not working and the lost of my husband leaving me in a very vulnerable financial situation. Once I feared having to sell the home so as not to lose it .

It all work out in the end. I allowed myself to grieve , I allowed myself to go after something I had always wanted and at 49 began the task of becoming a full time student to become an Educational assistant. 2.5 years of hard work paid off and in September 2017 I received a full time position to do a job that has been a gift to me. Within a month on the job I realized that for the first time in 5 years I finally felt at peace and that I had once again a purpose.

Going to school meant getting deeper into debts but it was a risk worth taking. Now when I decide to sell my house it will because I am entering another phase of my journey not because I am forced to do so.

To those who are new to the journey I share this .. Choices is what it may come down to. I had to chose to live or to go. I had to hit the bottom of my grieve before picking myself up and go. I had to learn patience and kindness towards myself and finally I had to step out of my comfort zone and realize that I would survive.
But most importantly I had to want to survive and give it my all.

It's good to hear from so many old friends. :)

Hi Martha,
I haven't been on here in a while. My husband died in 2013 of lung cancer. We were high school sweethearts and had been married 47 years when he passed. I was totally heartbroken. I have posted a few times but have have mostly been a reader. This site has helped me so much along the way. I must admit that I liked the old format better. Thank you for all you and the other CLs do.

Hi. I lost my husband on 9/30/15 30 days after he suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. I gave him cpr and he survived surgery, only to die after 30 days. But I did get that extra time and I am grateful for that. We didn’t expect it to end that way. We had just finished a cruise in Alaska and were spending one last day in Seattle before returning to the East coast. This has been the most excruciating experience of my life. I never thought I’d be a widow at 55! We met when I was 22 and he was 26. I’m finally at a point where I am
Ok most of the time. It really is up to us to take each step forward, sometimes inches at a time but we really must if we want to survive this. There is no timeline, each of us needs to find our own way. This site has been a lifesaver, early on I just needed to know that others had survived this loss and maybe I would too. Thanks to all of the Cl’s For what you do. And to those who keep coming back to help the others. Wishing us all peace today. Marybeth

Hi, I'm here once in a while. My purpose now is to support others.

Hi Martha! It has been a long time (3 years) since I've been on. I was working on a degree and graduated in September. I have a son with Autism that I do a lot of things with as well, so I am happy to be back. My husband, Bill, passed away June 4, 2007, and at the time, my children were 11 and 4. It was surreal. He had a congenital heart defect and was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension which did not have a good prognosis, but it was supposed to lead to declining health. Ironically, his cardiologist said he could have another 12-15 years just a month before he passed away suddenly from a heart attack. Within five years, my mother, then my husband, and then 9 months later, my father passed away. My sons have done so well, and I've enjoyed spending time in college - that has been my outlet. I enjoy my life, but I'm definitely not as outgoing or lighthearted as I used to be.

Hi! I've been reading posts here since September of 2015. I lost my husband Jordan to cancer in August of that year. I occasionally post.
By taking life one day at a time, not expecting to know the answers and being grateful, I am happy to be here.

Good evening, Martha, I, too, have been a member for a number of years. I lost my husband to kidney cancer in March 2010, about eight months after diagnosis. I was devastated and am still trying to learn to live without him. In subsequent years, I have also lost my two brothers, their wives, and my sister. DS has been a steady source of support through the years. I do not post much, but I do appreciate reading posts from other widows and widowers. I have no great words of wisdom about grief as I am still trying to find purpose without my husband and family. Thank you, Martha, for all you do for this site. Roxanne

Hello Martha. I lost my husband of 52 years in October 2017, just 7 weeks after he was diagnosed with lung cancer . Don't post here often, but am a frequent reader, This wonderful site helped me so much, and still does. At 72, with no children or other family, it is important to know your feelings are valid, and you are not alone in your struggles. A big thank you hug to you, and to all those who share their thoughts and insights here.

Hi!,
I’m Darren and I became a widower at 42 when Metastitic Malignant Melanoma in the brain took my wife Kateri (44) on April 22, 2018... 4 months and 3 days after she was diagnosed. I am 339 days in and have leaned on family, friends, strangers, and started a blog (thirtydaysofmorning.com) 84 days into this experience as a way to help me cope, recognize, share, dump, and look back on some of my “widower stuff”. Although it has been therapeutic writing about this experience (I’m a cook... not a writer), this has been the most challenging and gut wrenching thing I have had to go through. Thank you all for being here... we can all use the support!

I still come by occasionaly to read but don't post. I did get a bunch of email notices about weird friend requests which I guess is the spammers so thought I should say something.

I am Jo, lost my beloved George in 2010. I still miss him everyday but life goes one weather we want it to or not.

Hugs to you all,Jo

Hello,
I lost my wife 19 months ago today. Seems the few times I have begun to feel like living again the universe delivers another gut punch, first my health, then health scare again, then recently death of a beloved pet/kid. Come full circle and back again here, ridden hard and put away wet yet again.

Hi , I am Angela (Bayoured) I lost my beloved Tony 11/09/2017 we were married for 32 yrs but I had known him since I was 4 yrs old. The loss has been more than I can bare at times. Just lost our 16yr old cat a few days ago so I feel that is another piece taken from the life I knew before. I haven't been on in a while but would like to catch up at some point and meet the new people .

I am new, Tom, my wife of 19 yrs Edith Passed Easter Sunday 811AM 6 days ago. Days after first havent been as bad, but still bad. Worst loss I have had in my life. Trying to attend to affairs. I am elderly in poor health, Veteran, Christian, Conservative, retired

Hi Martha, I'm, Esther (ESA) new to this.....but I know I need some sort of support group outside of my children. My husband passed away, suddenly, in March 2017. We were 3rd grade sweethearts and then he moved away. Thirty years later we "reconnected" through classmates .com and were married 10+ years. We were not prepared for his death. From the beginning it has not been easy....emotionally or financially. I am a house mom and that has helped me to stay busy. I have had many lonely days and now it seems they are more frequent. I have been thinking of joining a grief group.....I am glad I ran into this support group.