Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
To all of my DS "neighbors" in the path of Hurricane Sandy, my prayers are with you and your families to safety ride out whatever Sandy sends our way.
For many of us, this is yet another "first".....the first major weather event since losing our spouse. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly on April 5, 2012.Not a day goes by that I don't feel exhausted from doing the work that the two of us used to do, and that was just the day-to-day chores. For the big things like a tropical storm, blizzard or tornado warning, we would both be securing things outdoors and making sure we had plenty of provisions for ourselves and our five pets.
Fighting my way through the packed supermarket and CVS earlier today, I felt alone and angry, then guilty for feeling that way. Then I thought about all of you who are in similar situations I felt things fall into perspective, and I felt comforted.
If we have "weathered the storm" of losing a loved one, Hurricane Sandy should be a piece of cake!
Be safe.....Juanita in NJ
For many of us, this is yet another "first".....the first major weather event since losing our spouse. My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly on April 5, 2012.Not a day goes by that I don't feel exhausted from doing the work that the two of us used to do, and that was just the day-to-day chores. For the big things like a tropical storm, blizzard or tornado warning, we would both be securing things outdoors and making sure we had plenty of provisions for ourselves and our five pets.
Fighting my way through the packed supermarket and CVS earlier today, I felt alone and angry, then guilty for feeling that way. Then I thought about all of you who are in similar situations I felt things fall into perspective, and I felt comforted.
If we have "weathered the storm" of losing a loved one, Hurricane Sandy should be a piece of cake!
Be safe.....Juanita in NJ
If you haven't checked in, please just post and let us know you are all right.
Juanita, this has been a great post, and it has been useful not just for those in the path of the storm, and for those of us worried about those in the path of the storm, but also because there has been some useful tips for planning for ANY kind of natural disaster.
I grew up in Connecticut, so have been through the blizzards and we had to be prepared for that (the ice storm of '73 I think it was, being particularly mnemorable when Hartford had no power for several days and sub-freezing temps). Then I lived in California for 20 years and we prepared for the earthquakes, and I survived being in a high-rise office building on the 14th floor when the quake of '89 hit. Then I moved to Florida and had to be prepared for the hurricanes and tornadoes, and I worked for our local government and learned about the emergency preparations and evacuation rules, etc. Now I live in England and am back to preparing for snowy winters. I guess I've come full circle?? :) Anyway, being prepared for one kind of disaster was pretty much the same as the next with just slight modifications here and there.
Over the years, and through the various types of disasters, there were some things that helped in each:
Flashlights (torches as they say here in the UK) and extra batteries or the hand-crank kind, as well as battery-powered lanterns or stick up lights
Candles can be dangerous especially if you have gas leaks - be careful with them. We kept a couple of old-fashioned oil lamps as they last longer than candles, but you need to be careful with them, too.
A supply of bottled drinking water
Instant coffee, tea, creamer, sweetener in a water-tight container with plastic spoons
Grills can be dangerous in some circumstances, and impossible to use in others. We kept a few cans of Sterno in the cupboard - that's the stuff you use in chafing dishes, so it can be used indoors - with our disaster food to be able to heat canned foods. This also helps if you had to secure your outdoor barbecue equipment and tuck it away in a shed so it is not readily accessible.
Canned goods like soups and beans - long shelf life, together with crackers, granola bars, juice boxes and a can opener if they are aren't pull tab cans
Powdered milk or condensed milk if you have kids
Cheap or old dishes and mugs packed in a plastic storage bin with the emergency food stuffs.
Battery-operated fans - we got ours at Walgreens I think
We put some of our plastic patio furniture in the shallow end of the pool together with some of the cleaning euipment on poles - they were easy to get out and didn't fly around and weren't damaged by that
These are just a few items that came in handy through various disasters...
Another thing you can do when your diaster supplies have been around for awhile and you need to change them is to donate them to the food banks or homeless shelters. One lady I knew would do that at the end of every hurricane season, which is November 30th, so that it was just in time for the Christmas season and when the shelters are in the most need for food donations. I thought that was a great idea, too.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Honorable Mention (one can of Bush's and a plastic fork) goes to youonly for reminding us to pack copies of valuable papers. I would never have thought of that one.
As many of you have said, I've also learned a LOT from this topic. A few of my faves from Martha's list are cooking with Sterno....a brilliant idea I could have used during Sandy; the danger of candles and advantages of stick-up-lights; battery operated fans (pick them up at summer's end when they're cheap); and storing outdoor furniture, etc. in the pool (all I need is the pool!).
Seriously, Martha, you have survived everything but a tsunami and a plague of locusts! Was your living in so many places by choice or the result of career demands?
Once again, my heartfelt thanks to all of you for taking the time to share ideas, suggestions, war stories or just lend compassion and a sympathetic ear.
Once again.....DS ROCKS!
If you think I might be able to reach some of your US family/friends more easily by phone, just let me know. I'll be happy to try and make contact on your behalf.
Juanita
Hope all of you are safe
Gale
I loved Youonly's idea of putting everything in a suitcase - that is BRILLIANT! I am happy to share the beans!
Just got an e-mail from Jenny zelzie) and Rich (firefighter88) in New Jersey. They are without power and have been since Monday, but they are managing. Jenny is from Louisiana, and she says Sandy is the East Coast's Katrina. Yikes!! Anyway, they are safe, but cold. Please keep them and our other DS family in your prayers and/or good thoughts.
Juanita, you wanted to know about my moves - what I can tell you is that every move I have made there was a love story behind it. Or was it sheer insanity??? Sometimes I think they are same thing.... ;)
Love and Hugs....
So instead of "Will Work for Food", you're more like "Will Relocate for Love"!!!
Just got internet back yesterday, so this is my first time posting since the hurricane. I am going to post this in a few entries, because it is going to be a long one.
Before I added this new reply, I reread my post about what preparations I made before the storm & I laughed - there was no preparing for THIS.
The town I live in was hit very hard. About 60 houses are just gone & approximately another 250-300 have been condemned Ninety percent of the homes here got water, so when I talk about my damages, I say it with the caveat that compared to so many people that I know, I am actually lucky.
SO, the water came over the bank of the creek that I live on at about 6pm - 2-1/2 hours before the tide was due in. I threw the breaker to the garage off, so that no power was live when the water went in. When the water got to the rims on the truck, I moved it around the corner to slightly higher ground. I was heading for the nearest main road "just to be safe", but when I got about half a block from it, I stopped & turned around, because the water was running down it like a river. I settled on putting it half in the street & half on a neighbors lawn just around the corner. Except for an oxygen sensor, it seems to have done OK - water looks like it came up to just below the door jambs, thankfully.
When I got back from moving the truck, I turned on the pump to my 4 foot crawl space where my furnace lives. It became apparent pretty quickly that pumping out was not going to be an option. When the water went over my built-in pool, I turned it off - it wasn't pumping it to anywhere.
We started grabbing whatever we could & carting it upstairs at that point. When we heard the tide running through the crawl space, I flipped the main breaker to the house & we scrambled in the dark.
We managed to save a lot of things - pictures, electronics, my beloved sewing machines. We put my gorgeous leather couches up on kitchen chairs, which proved to be just high enough to save them. Got the bunny upstairs, put my china up, saved my daughter's schoolbooks & her cheer stuff, put the dining room chairs on top of the table and I don't even know what else.
At around 7pm, the water came up from under the kitchen cabinets & then started bubbling through the floor boards. The hardwood floor in the dining room was bubbling so much, it sounded like an aquarium - lol.
When it hit about 6 inches, we finally retreated upstairs and waited.
It crested at about 13 inches in the house and was back out by around 11pm.
Have filled up 2 dumpsters so far & still haven't done demolition yet. Waiting for a POD to be delivered so we can move out, then we are going to my aunt's house while repairs are done. Have a few space heaters & fireplace to keep house warm, but no appliances or hot water. Need to be out soon because the water will need to be turned off before we hit consistently freezing temps.
Garage had around 4 feet of water & back shed had about 6 feet. Dock & deck that goes with it are wrecked, pool is wrecked. Boat floated around backyard on trailer, but didn't seem to have banged into anything. The debris-line across the back stopped it from being sucked out when the water went out, so that was lucky.
PART 5
With all of that being said, I am incredibly grateful for what I do have left & for my family, friends & neighbors. I now know that my husband died when he did, because he could not have gotten through this. He would not have been able to see this place he loved so much devastated like it has been. His bike being under 4 feet of water would have destroyed him.
This http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2012/11/union_beach_sandy_devastation.html
is a link to an article that appears today in the Newark newspaper about my town. Almost every person mentioned by name is somebody I know, so it is pretty hard to feel bad for yourself when so many people have lost EVERYTHING including the entire house. I mean that literally - I have friends that had to go out the next morning to try & find their houses.
Through it all, we have become an even tighter knit community than we already were. I always hosted all of our holiday dinners at my house, so today I will go out to a local restaurant with my family, but first, my girls & I will go to the school they attended where a Thanksgiving dinner is being served, just to see people.
Then, we are going to go to the corner of Jersey Ave & Shore Road, believe it or, where a Christmas tree landed. Somebody put it up & the guy across the street ran a power cord to it and believe it or not, the top half lit up!
A lot of people have been hanging ornaments on it & we are going to add one.
A sign next to it says:
Dear Hurricane Sandy,
You tried to wash away our hope.
But you only watered it so more hope can grow.
Signed,
Union Beach
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody, from Union Beach.NJ!
Love,
Loretta
JERSEY STRONG