Again, dear friends, many thanks. I found you all when I was about to lose my mind from dumb remarks and pointless advice from others who hadn't experienced this pain. We, through our pain, can be that light for the others that will be coming down this sad path. Thank you for being so open about how you are doing. Thank you for being there for me and each other when we need it most. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to live with great pain. For those of you who haven't commented yet, it's not too late. For those of you who have more to add - add it! Thanks for helping me today.

Again, dear friends, many thanks. I found you all when I was about to lose my mind from dumb remarks and pointless advice from others who hadn't experienced this pain. We, through our pain, can be that light for the others that will be coming down this sad path. Thank you for being so open about how you are doing. Thank you for being there for me and each other when we need it most. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to live with great pain. For those of you who haven't commented yet, it's not too late. For those of you who have more to add - add it! Thanks for helping me today.

Again, dear friends, many thanks. I found you all when I was about to lose my mind from dumb remarks and pointless advice from others who hadn't experienced this pain. We, through our pain, can be that light for the others that will be coming down this sad path. Thank you for being so open about how you are doing. Thank you for being there for me and each other when we need it most. Thank you for showing me that it is possible to live with great pain. For those of you who haven't commented yet, it's not too late. For those of you who have more to add - add it! Thanks for helping me today.

It's been 10 months for me and I seem to be backsliding. Maybe I was just in denial before. I've become very antisocial and spend most of my time at home alone. Hoping this is just a stage I need to get through.

Hi Jkallen. I can relate. I'm lucky to have friends that invite but I never want to go. I commit to things and later wish I had not. (The only thing I can commit to is a daily nap). I'm not interested in the things I used to be. Sometimes I force myself to go, but not always. When I'm very down I'm afraid I'll be embarrassed if people see how tough things still are. As so many on this board repeatedly say, we have to be gentle with ourselves and this is a process. We need to do what we need to do and it's different for everyone. For me, I can say the hardest part is getting past that initial inertia. The next outing may be easier. It seems like everything hurts, no matter what I'm doing. When people reach out it usually means they will b glad to see you, whatever your mood. I hope things improve for you. There is much loneliness in what we are going thru. Sometimes company can be a good thing.

God heavens! How did I manage to post that last comment 6 times!
Wordy broad, aren't I?!!!

I'm at 2 years, 9 months. I have a routine in my life, but it seems to be more like a machine working than a breathing, living being. I put one foot in front of another each day.

My friends from work haven't been with me at all since Joe died and I retired. I have one very close friend and she is in the hospital right now, dying. She is the only one besides my sister that knows everything about me and still loves me. I'm thankful for my sister. We see life quite differently in many ways but I know she loves me.

I'm active in a new church (first year in this one). I go alone, shake hands with a few people, worship through the hour, and go out alone and walk to my car in silence, listening to the laughter and joyful shouts of people relating to their family members and/or friends. I am thankful for Wed. night dinners at church. I visit with a few acquaintances and return home alone in the dark.

I've done some volunteer work and just was placed on the church council. The people are very nice, but no one knows my history, the ME who has lived for 66 years on this earth, but they just met me this year.

My greatest joy is my grandson, 5, whom I pick up 5 days a week after school. He hugs me, loves me, wants to sit with me and just talk or read a book. He is the one who warms my soul and makes life worth living. I am only really alive and happy when I am with him. But he is growing up. Don't know what will happen when he no longer wants to spend as much time with me as he does now.

Spiritually, I am disciplining myself with Bible Study, prayer, and being involved at church with really nice people. They just are so new to me and I to them.

I just returned from a 10-day travel tour of New England. I was the only one in our group that was alone. I enjoyed everything I saw and experienced, but throughout the time, I felt so alone, so empty, and so longing for Joe. We were supposed to do this together.

I will survive. There was a long time when I didn't know that. I don't cry much any more, but the sadness is deep down in my soul. I can't envision a day when my soul is not burdened with deep sadness.

My focus is outward. I'm trying to do as many things as I can WITH other people and FOR their welfare. I do get a sense of satisfaction out of helping others. I just would love to feel like a human being again instead of a robot. I'm doing everything I know of that is considered healing. But I wonder, and doubt, if life will ever hold the joy it once did. My joy is in heaven now and I am focused on preparing to be there myself when it is my time.

Being a "Newbie", i thought this would be a good place to start. My beloved David lost his 10 year battle with prostate cancer 9/8/2011, just one day after our 31st wedding anniversary. He was 63. I am 55.
Physically- I lost 30 lbs from trauma trim and walk regularly in 5k's and 1/2 marathons. Best therapy ever for me.
Mentally-I stay in God's word daily and try to focus on the blessings i do have.
Emotionally-Just like so many of you, there are good days and not so good days. Memories still bring tears to my eyes. I MISS HIM SOOOO MUCH!! Even after a year it's hard to accept that he is gone.
Spiritually- I'm totally dependent on God now. Where as before, David was my rock and stronghold and now it's God who I completely depend on.I know I will see him again one day and I believe he sends me signs from above to let me know everything is ok. (more about that later).
Socially- I'm blessed to have my family all here close by. 6 grandchildren! I spend a lot of time with them. I also have special friendships I couldn't do without.
Financially- Tough one. I can't receive his s.s. until I'm 66 which is 11 years from now. Until then it's going to be a challenge but hey, this whole new lifestyle is one BIG challenge, right?
Favorite current song- I listen to K-love and they are all good and up-lifting but my fav is " The Hurt and the Healer" by Mercy Me
What helps me- My Faith, Family and Friends.

Thank you for letting me share and God Bless you!