Ok, Edith, here goes. Physically - work is physically demanding enough that it keeps me in shape, plus I've been taking to walking 2-3 miles on the one day I'm off. Actually, I thank G-d that I'm healthy. Mentally - see answer #1. Financially - it's a struggle, but my bills are getting paid. That's all I ask for. Socially - see #1, ie, 6 days a week yapping at my customers while I hold them hostage making their sandwiches. Actually, very grateful that so many are friends. And for my hang out crew who I've known for over 15 years. I've saved spiritually and emotionally for last. I have moments of complete peace and acceptance. I have moments of happiness and laughter. Underlying this is a feeling, now, of sadness. There's a space in my heart where I've put....Joe's last days. Our marriage, and all that it meant. I can pull the emotions out at a second's notice. I know that. I just try to live each day. It doesn't always work (type A, control freak, but I try). Favorite current song - "Think" Lynne Collins (check it out). ((Hugs)) Marsha

Haven't posted in so long but log on EVERY DAY, DS saved me in my early days of grief. I'm at 25 months. Physically, I'm in the best shape I've been in since my 20', taken to walking/jogging every morning for 1-1 1/2 hrs. Releases the anxiety and stress. Mentally, doing ok, have accepted my husbands death, dealt w/PTD resulting from it- but still have moments, that come from nowhere, that can bring me to tears so quickly. Socially, trying hard to be open to new people, new things in general. Getting better at this part - at this point in time. Spiritually and Emotionally, I'm a completely different person than I was when my husband died. I'm calm now, if that's the right word, with where he is, where he was meant to go BEFORE me. I miss him, still, so much - every single day. I wake up in the morning (which can be 2am, 4am whatever) and lie staring at the ceiling not believing he is gone - still! That's what can be a killer, the reality of it, even after 2 plus years.

I know this much, I'm not the same person I was. Not saying thats bad. It's just a fact now. But, I miss some of the parts of me that left when he did.
Deni

Well,

I am at 4 months tomarrow, seems unbelievable, it just can not be. I pretty much stay close to home. Take the dog for a walk and joined a yoga thing once a week. I really kind of hate that, but paid up front.

Not many friends, I am scared to be alone. Family is far away, so they can not see my face. Panic attacks while driving, lost 25 pounds, pretty much hate everything except pup and bird.

My faith has been getting stronger, pray contantly. Miss Wayne so much, quite mad at Wayne for leaving so sudden. I just hate everything of this so called new life. You asked:)

Peace to you
Dually

I'm now at 17 months. My DH died suddenly & totally unexpectedly at age 60. I think for the most part I am in a pretty good place most days - but there are still those unexplicable occasions of leaky eye syndrome.
Physically - I've been trying to attend two yoga classes a week since last October - tho some weeks that doesn't work. I definitely feel better when I go - physically, mentally, and spiritually - I wish I'd started sooner when neighbor first tried to talk me into it. I've gained back the 10 pounds I lost last year (this summer) so am starting to walk 3 miles on the treadmill (in the basement) twice a week now & use the recumbent bike occasionally that is parked in front of the TV in the living room.
Emotionally - Since DH died both my youngest two sons were home sans jobs. Worked emotionally for us all but now that they've moved on just in this last 6 weeks, I'm ready to move forward w/my life, & I finally made the decision to put down my 21+yo cats I am truly feeling the loneliness of the empty house & trying to get myself back into quilting mode as I just haven't had time or energy to spend in my sewing studio this past year. I taught HS math f/t last year cause emotionally I needed to - but teaching stresses me out big time all by itself and by 3rd qtr break w/a bunch of "firsts" anniversaries hitting at the same time was major meltdown time for me. By the end of the school year, had made the decision that I was ready to sell my house and move on and give myself this next year to go thru what is necessary to get that accomplished. Financially OK so I can - just don't like using DH's severance pay to live on... but don't get his retirement until I turn 60 next August. SO back to being semi-retired as I had made the decision to be before he died. The past few months not working have been spent trying to get the place cleaned up & start selling stuff off for a real downsize w/this move. Way too big a job for me but we've been on the market for a month now.
Spiritually - I've been much more at peace w/Derwin's death since I had a couple dreams last summer. Both same, tho the earlier one just devastated me all over again. The 2nd time I got the message that he is in such a good place and happy & well. It was a turning point for me.
Socially - I have discovered this past 17 months how many friends I truly have here. DH was always the socializer & me more of the stay-at-homer. A pretty regular bunch to sew with, go out to lunch with, just get together over a bottle of wine or a phone call. I have taken myself out to a couple concerts in Laughlin. I reconnected w/an old HS boyfriend at our 40th reunion this past year & it is developing into something very worth holding onto - & we both feel it is w/ DH's blessing - there are so many coincidental incidences all along the way - it's kind of mind-boggling.
Most anything country western - on loud - gets me out of a pensive mood.

I am at 2 months and 10 days.Randy died at 58 1/2 yrs old. He is the youngest to pass in his family as the men live into their 90's.

Physically - Having a harder time getting around. Think I am in a relapse with the MS that I have had for the last 20 years. Staying in my room most of the day and night because it is so hard to get around. Left leg is dragging more and I have fallen several times in the last couple of months. Blood pressure has been consistently high since Dec, when hubby got sick.
Mentally - I am in that fog. I have issues with my cognitive memory, again due to MS but seems to be much worse. I do well to pay the bills as soon as they come in because if I put them off for even a day or two, I forget.
Emotionally - ok for the most part. Not crying all the time anymore but usually once a day it hits.
Spiritually - getting stronger. I don't like leaving the house but forced myself to join a bible study that meets once a week. I talk to God a lot thru the day. He has carried me since day one of hubby being sick. I am blessed, I know that and am thankful for the comfort and peace that I feel because I know where that comes from.
Socially - people have thinned out. I think I make them uncomfortable. Maybe with me being a widow, things are a bit awkward. They don't know what to say so they avoid me. And I am sure this has caused a couple of them to face their own mortality. Seems like anyone who has a loved one with cancer avoids me because I represent to worse of the possibilities with cancer.
Financially - ok. I am getting by. Because I am disabled, I can draw on hubby's SS even though I am 52. I have a small retirement from the school system but a big chunk of it goes on insurance. I have what I need so that is ok.
What helps me the young outgoing spirit of my 17 yr old daughter. We talk, laugh, and cry together. She is my rock even though I have to let her go after she graduates high school. I can't hold her back, she has too much going for her. Our grandkids keep me going too when they come by.
I am surviving. Songs...anything that has been popular in the 30 yrs we were together. They take me back to different times and good memories.

I am at just 9 months since my Lee passed unexpectedly at 52. I am on the downswing of the roller coaster monster. Did ok for most part last few months but Sept. has been VERY hard. Our second wedding anniversary was the 25th and turned 50 alone on 23rd.
As far as socially, tried to make new friends only to find out they were fair weather friends and are all gone now. Crushingly lonely. Have 1 child but she has her own life and family.
Crying daily and several times a day.
As far as exercise, am recovering from back surgery so can not do so yet. Plan to start walking when they say I can.
Financially, Am living on my own SS so it is tough. Bills are getting paid but barely.
Once I am released from recovery, plan to get work a couple times a week for those that need companionship and light help.
Acceptance of Lee's death comes and goes. I know he is gone and not coming back but hate being alone for long. We were together such a short time but were soulmates. However, I now know I am worthy of true love as he loved me. Depression has worsened but there is no pill to cure grief so am trying to hold it together. Sorry to be such a downer when most posts seem to be more upbeat but you asked how I was REALLY doing and that is where I am.

I am at 4 years and 9 months, my husband was 47.
Physical exercise: Line Dancing 4 days week.
Emotionally: At a much better place most of the time now, except for the loneliness. The loneliness is still very crushing at times, the quietness of my home is to much at times, always have the TV or radio on for background noise. My fuse is not as short as it was in the early days of grief, I have a better handle on it now. I reached a place of acceptance quite some time ago, not always happy about having such an uncertain future though.
Spiritually: My faith remains intact, constantly striving to live the life that I know I am supposed to through my faith and always look to him for my strength.
Socially: Church and Family. 4 nights a week of Line Dance Lessons and dancing with my new group of friends that I have come to know through this activity.
Financially: Doing ok, I have a very demanding job, that takes a lot of energy out of me mentally, leaving me feeling very exhausted. I am very blessed to have my job though, both my kids have been able to go to College, I am maintaining my house, my bills are paid and I am able to get out and do things.

Favorite song: "Over You" by Miranda Lambert

I am doing much better, I still miss him, I still miss us and always will, I can't change that and I have accepted that. So I will continue to live my life and get the most out of each day. Hugs, Denise

What a nice question. No one ever asked me for such details before.
At 28 months............
Physically: I have more moments to relax and can take time to walk around our beautiful yard and smell the roses. I am not as exhausted and sleep deprived. ( Caretaking my husband was grueling, physically exhausting, constant adrenaline flow).
Mentally: I went back to work right after Bill died. That helps and I can focus better these days.
Emotionally: I am homesick for us. The raw pain resides deep, very deep inside. I miss him in every single corner. My heart is permanently shredded and I don't try to put it back together because this pain is part of our marriage that "still is." This is the sad part - part of the deal.
Socially: I care for Bill's and my elderly parents. My night out is dinner at 4:30 at eat n park.
Spiritually: I struggled really hard and am now able to understand the big picture a bit better. Am grateful for what we had and look forward to being together again. I lead a GriefShare group at our church and am very comfortable there.

Goodbye For Now Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8q_7iVQF0w

2 years for me. My wife, Diana, died suddenly at age 57.
Physically - I have a ranch so it keeps me busy on my days off, I have taken to working out at the gym and usually walk 1 2 miles a day as part of my job.
Mentally - I went back to work after my wife passed away both for the money (our retirement got screwed up) and to have some purpose.
Emotionally For the most part I do very well emotionally. Most times when I think of Diana it is warm memories. I recently got remarried to a widow that I have known for 15 years and there is a good amount of joy in my life.
Socially Between events for my work and events for my new wife I have a lot of activites. When I am no at those I prefer the solitude of my ranch and working on projects in my workshop (or man-cave as it has been refered to).
Financially Doing OK, I took a promotion when I went back to work but as usual a little more money and a fair amount of new stress, lols. I plan to re-retire in a year or two (depending on how the investments treat me).

Bottom line is a have put my life back together. Diana is a still a major part of me and I think of her often. It is a much different life than I had a few years ago but it is a good life none the less.

-Pete-

Okay, here's my story. Don died 5 years ago this past June so I am at almost 5 yrs 4 months. Physically I don't exercise, never have, but I walk the dog and also walk for enjoyment that I count. Just at a slower pace.
Mentally, I would say yes. Most of my friends say I'm mental, but happy. Sorry, couldn't resist! I love books. All kinds of books and continuously reading. I think that helps keep the mind functioning and it satisfies my need for learning.
Emotionally, I have created a life that I enjoy. I have gained the confidence to say what I feel and to live according to my own standards. I left the 'what will xx think?' In the dust. I think I am heathier now than I've ever been. My counselor agrees.
Socially, I live with a man I love and he loves me. Both our children respect and care about us and our friends singular have become our friends plural. So thats good.
Financially we are comfortable with Social Security and retirement pensions.
Spiritually, I have a personal relationship with my Lord. He is part of all I do or say. I work on making him look at me and feel I have done well. Where I fail at this His grace covers me. For that I am blessed. Sharon

Physically,...I exercise every day. I eat right and I am "mostly" healthy. I am going into a very nice remission from a MS attack so I "have" to take good care of myself. I do 95% of the time.

Emotionally I am mostly good. I am so much stronger than I ever ever would have believed I could ever be... Sometimes I am still that frightened child...but mostly I am strong. I'll come back to this later.

Mentally I am solid. A fricken train couldn't derail me...I've been to hell and back and I survived.... I've gotten mentally tough.. I kind of like it because I know that I am not alone in this world and I can endure whatever I need to no matter what.

Okay...back to emotionally...I still have waves of grief. Still have times that I miss Denny so much it brings me to my knees. Not many and not often...but I allow those moments when they come and realize that it is so much a part of me losing such a great man and someone who meant the world to me. He was my hero and always will be! I will never EVER be okay with him dieing so young and myself and our children and grandchildren losing him, but we do not get to choose when we or our loved ones will go. Our choice is to live in honor of them and their lives and all that they stood for.

Financially, it's a struggle with only one income, but I work with others who are struggling far worse every day and I have survived lean times before.

Spiritually I have a strong sense of where I am and am growing more and more every day.

So this is how I am...not perfect, but a heck of a lot better than I ever thought I would be.

It has been three and a half years. It is such a long long road...but you can rebuild a life that can be good once more.

big hugs to everyone...
-Diana

I am at 5 months 2 weeks and 2 days since my I lost my husband to lung cancer with metz to the central nervous system....yes that is as horrible as it sounds.
physically - I made good progress this week by joining the Y and restarting a fitness program
Emotionally....I am not so good. Monday is our wedding anniversary..our 10th and since we had married later in life we knew that we wouldn't have 50 years so we had talked about renewing our vows on the beach in South Carolina on our 10th. So this is a really bad time. I am not sure what I am going to do for our anniversary, we were rarely at home we always took a vacation to celebrate and my Bob always put the just married sign in the back window of our truck.
Mentally....I am a survivor and it helps that I feel him with me constantly. I will get thru this my husband fought so hard to stay here even tho he was in agony I will not disrespect him and give up on life. I have our Grand-Daughter to live for.
Finacially, I am fine. BC (before Cancer) I was going to retire next year when I turn 55 but after losing my Bob I don't want to quit work since it is how I connect with most people.
Over all I am o.k. and that is only at this moment...it changes radically minute by minute as I know all of you can relate.
I love my husband and always will. Even tho I am only 54 I don't think I will remarry...I kissed a lot of frogs before I met my prince and I think I will just work on enjoying my life as it is now.
I hope we all find peace
Cathy

I am at 5 months and 4 days.

My husband died suddenly at age 50. He came down with a cold, had difficulty breathing so I took him to the ER. He was in ICU for 19 days with pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome when I had to decide to remove the ventilator, because there was nothing else the Dr.s could do for him.

Physically - I work out occasionally. I love to bike, and walk I am starting to feel like I want to do both again. Ive started taking my vitamins again and starting to feel like I can eat again.

Mentally - I read a lot and sew to re-group and to enhance my creative side.

Emotionally - I have up and down days. Its difficult some days most days are getting pretty good. Mostly up days! I do start crying when I see or hear a motorcycle because that was our thing to ride together.

Spiritually - I am fine, I have not questioned God through this process. I believe that God has a plan for each of us before we are conceived and It was Laines time to be called home with the Lord.

Socially - I get out most weekends for at least part of the day. I am selective of the invites I accept, and honest with friends that I need to sometimes play things by ear and decide at the last minute if I wan to do something. I love going to movies and having friends over to chat. I work a swing shift so evenings are busy at work I try to keep busy during the mornings before going to work.

Financially - Okay. Not rich, not poor. I am able to pay my bills and have a little extra to play with. Id love to be able to hire someone to do the yard because I hate yard work, but at this time its not in my budget.

Favorite current song: no favorite song

What helps me: Knowing that I am starting to feel better and the fog is lifting.
Colleen

Great question.....
Physically: Fat and happy! Gotta do something about the fat!
Mentally: Not as sharp as I used to be..... so many deaths in such a short time has done something to me that I can't explain. I just don't seem to be able to keep as many balls in the air as I used to.
Financially: I'm blessed.... my late husband left me well provided for and I make a very decent living on my own.
Socially: It seems that just about everyone I used to know has dropped out of my life. I've come to realize that most of my friends were actually my late husband's friends. When he ded, the connection was lost. My in-laws, who I considered my family, have turned away..... they don't seem to approve of my new marriage.

I'm remarried now.... will celebrate my first annivesary on 10/8. I lead such a different life than I did before that its hard for me to reconcile who I am now with who I was then. My new husband is a good man and I'm lucky.

I miss Stephen everyday, but rarely talk about him or my grief to anyone..... it's just something I carry with me wherever I go.

Physically I have 5 acres with 2 horses, 2 dogs, and 2 cats....feeding and keeping pastures going etc keeps me busy and sometimes frustrated when things come up that makes it above and beyond what I can fix...

Emotionally: at times down because I do not like being alone and wish I could move to where my son and grandbabies are

Financially: I am making it but I am stressed with one income and trying to find a part time or a seasonal job to supplement myincome in my area is tough so I stress if one more things go wrong big expense wise I am SCREWED so I try not to go there.

Spiritually wished I had more of GOD in my life I get upset HERE
But I figure GOD knows where I am at with that
SO a few prays for me in that dept could help.....
Just being honest

BUT overall I think I have done alot and made it this far and thinking my glass is half full when I can makes its easier.