Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I'm lonely and it's been over a year. I have looked on dating sites, but have not paid or responded..just more curious at this stage. But I look and see one little thing in their profile that doesn't fit how my husband was or maybe one little thing I don't care for..so I never proceed. I really think I just can't imagine anyone living up to my husband even though he was certainly not perfect. None of us are. And then there's the romance part. I truly just want companionship at this point..no romance and what that entails. Do men, even in my age group (67-75) really ever look for just companionship? Not a lot of us here are in my age group, so I don't know if you can offer any insights. I'm not saying I'd never want more, but not for a long while. Right now I would just want male companionship, friendship. Is that even possible?
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My mom passed away on June 18th. I was her cargiver and only child. Although she was 89 years young and it was "expected" I don't know how to BREATHE without her. I stay busy throughout the day but I can only do that so long until I burn out! I'm all alone now and don't know what I'm going to do!! I can only fake it for so long. I'm TIRED of losing my people!!!!
If you are ever in Washington DC, let me know. I will take you out to lunch at my favorite Vietnamese Restaurant. No inappropriate behavior or "sexual element" involved... but I have to warn you that we will "split" the check.
John
Don
I am so heartened by the recent comments. So glad to hear that there are men who can enter into a friendship with women.
Sharon, your comments were perfect. I almost experienced what you were talking about with someone helping me on an icy step--but the wife wasn't too keen on her husband helping me so I had to forego the aid. But, yes, those are some of the things that we miss so much, aren't they? The relationship you had with your widower friend sounded perfect. I would give a lot for a relationship like that.
There is one man here that helps me when I need it whom I can visit with and enjoy his company but he is married so there is always that concern about causing problems in his marriage. I make sure to talk about that periodically because I would NEVER want to cause his wife any unease. He is like a little brother to me--about that annoying at times!
Kym
Who is easier to date a widow/widower or a divorced person? The divorced person because with the widow/widower you are competing against a saint with the divorced person you are competing against a jerk! Lots of wisdom there.
I feel like you do. My husband and I were married for 34 years, we knew what the other was thinking. You really do become one, and you have such a long history.
I can't imagine starting over with someone new.
Ok ladies, if the physical side of things is such a man only thing, how come this post is now 4 pages deep? I wish you would spend more time getting to know me before assuming what my intentions are. Gosh, it has taken me a year to even think about cracking a joke. Even if it wasnt funny, it felt good on this end.
Martin
And Martha, I know this is late but in reference to your reply to what I said on page 1 of this post.
"They say the memory is the second thing to go". I'm sure you know this is a standing joke amoungst men,( crap poor choice of words) but I think you get the point, (crap poor choice of words again) sorry I think I'll just drop it, crap again.
Geo.
This thread is so interesting. It seems that there are about equal number of men and women who think that a friendship only relationship is possible. And there are about the same number of both sexes who think that it is not! Hmmm......
I'm sorry, I don't think I said anywhere in any of the replies to this post that I thought that you had to watch out men that are looking for friendship only, (because that would include me).I said more or less at this time and into the forseable future that that would be all I would be able to be is a friend. I guess I feel that my wife is and always will be totaly irrepaceable. So for me even a platonic relationship would imply more than just friendship.
I did say at one point though to be carefull simply in response to this particular post as it was posted by a woman. Therefore regarding looking for relationship of any kind, all I meant was be careful because women are more vulnerable to violence than the reverse. (I think?)
Irs55, I hope that clears things up as I have no negative feelings about this posting by Mary. As a matter of fact I think it has been one of the better ones since it seems to have gotten both genders involved on a pretty even keel.
Best Regards, George
A few months after Howie passed, I went out with my brother and his wife and our cousin to listen to some music. I was shock to see the number of woman ready to pounce as the door would open . Talk about pressure! I don`t think it any easier the man to find someone they can laugh with and talk with, have dinner with than it is for women. Maybe I am completely wrong about this. But either way it is a scary world we were trust upon.
What I see in the world is so many women and men that have no respect for themselves how could they for anyone else. It is not gender biased. In the same respect there are many women and men that are really genuine.
I see valid points in every post here and am amused and understand (least I think I do). Geo for some reason I get a kick out of you, and Martin I love sarcasm and miss hearing it from my dad and Wayne. And then there's Martha, always honestly to the point. Then there is the rest of us, all in between and yet somewhat the same. I love DS and I love all of you! Much Love and Many Hugs-Jewley