Don't give up on the dating sites. I actually met my fiance on one. It IS possible to make a love connection, if that's what you want. You DO have to filter through all the "frogs" but have faith and it is possible to find your prince. I think there ARE men on there looking for friendship first and if it progresses into something more, so be it.

I have recently gone out with 2 gentlemen from a site. Both were very kind and respectful. It's very nice to have that companionship and I believe it has helped me pull through that feeling of loneliness and have a positive outlook for the future. I highly recommend it. Just don[t do anything you are not comfortable doing... meet in public places, start with short meetings (quick escape if necessary) and progress into longer dates.

Just my 2 cents on the subject!

After one year on Our.time I am done.....If they flirt with you and you respond they don't respond back. It's the same if you flirt with them. A lot of their profiles list they want a woman who is a fantasy . Slender good looking as if a woman in her 50's or 60's's is perfect. Oh and they always list their likes and one is golf. I hate golf!!!!! It's hard to meet someone at my age but I don't think it will happen on Our.time.

I have had excellent results on Plenty Of Fish and it's free.

Interesting thread. And I guess I'll throw in my two cents (or four, for that matter.)

I checked out Plenty of Fish and other freebie sites, simply out of curiosity. But then, when I knew I was ready to start dating, I actually paid to join Match.com (and accidentally signed up for ourtime.com as well ...oops) and have had GREAT responses. I am in my 60's, overweight, and make no pretense about it. Of course, there are LOTS of men who are looking for slender, athletic and toned. I make it very clear that I am not, and probably never will be, though I do work out in a gym at least 3x week, and stay very active and involved in life.

I think there is a difference in sites. I am not sure if it is logistics, sInce I live in a fairly urban area, but I have had a lot of responses to my profile. Although I've not found "the one" I have met some really nice men. I also think if you are paying for a subscription, you are more likely to take it seriously.

I think there are a lot of men looking for a quick roll in the hay so to speak, but most are, despite all their talk, just like we arefeeling lonely at times, wanting companionship, a good friend, and some female energy (as we women want the male energy). And, also, THEY don't know where else to go to find it, either. We're all humans on a journey, and when you get down to it, we are all longing for the same thing. The feeling of connectedness By taking it slowly, getting to know them via email or phone calls (I prefer NOT to give out my number early on) before you meet, you can pretty much get a sense what they are looking for.

Don't give up. Give the guys a chance, and you may be pleasantly surprised!

Hi Mary...
I concur with others suggesting that you find a group, or groups, for friendship and socialization before you consider dating again.
My loneliness was so intense when my DH died. With no family in town, it was just me and the kids. I started dating 4 months after he passed - WAY TOO SOON. It was a disaster and set back my grieving process quite a bit. I was not ready for a relationship with anyone else - just really lonely. Thankfully most of the gents I met recognized that and were very kind.
I've since joined a couple social groups through meetup.com - and started a social group for widows/widowers about 55 yrs and under (there was nothing like this in our city prior to that - all the other groups were for 65-70+, and meeting during the day when I worked.)
I also got involved with Beginning Experience - the chapter here in Winnipeg is wonderful, and I feel it was a great decision to follow their program. I have made wonderful friends, male and female, through this.
If you still want to 'date' - make sure you set your limits in place for yourself first. What do you really want? How physical are you willing to get? I recommend too, that you check with local safety authorities about any seminars on internet safety and scamming. A colleague had a friend scammed out of thousands of dollars thru one site. Can't be too careful.
All the best to you.

Wow, there is a lot of discussion on this thread. I haven't been here very much but I so agree with the loneliness aspect of this life I am now living. It's been 3 years since I lost my DH of 52 years and each year has been a new adventure(if you can call it that). I have looked at dating sites and my feeling( I am 75) is that there are so many widows out there looking for single men that there shouldn't be any reason why a man in this age range would have to be looking at a dating sight. I know a few 70's men who have found women almost immediately after their wives died. I have thought if a widower(man) needed to go to a dating sight there must be something lacking. Maybe I'm missing something. There are very few single men at this age compared to the women and the ratio is very lopsided. So that is my fear of dating sights.......at my age.

I would like to meet someone through a friend or acquaintance and also for companionship. I believe that the physical part would take care of itself if it was meant to be. I am finding that I enjoy getting to know other women who are active and want to explore life like traveling and being active. Where I live is rural and the nearest small town is 25 miles away so it is difficult to find activities to be involved in, especially at night. The worst part of this life is being alone even though I do keep busy. There are several widows that I know but they aren't as active as I want to be or maybe have the same things in common as I do.

If anyone figures out how to solve this meeting someone problem it would be great. I have thought, too, that being involved in a type of activity that you like would be a good way to meet someone.

Mary, I just discovered this fascinating study of what your dating photo says about yourself, and what other people are looking for, and how they interact. http://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/we-are-all-classists

Every time my wife, who just died in July, accused me of having an affair because I came home late, I told her: "I have 3 women in my life: you, my mom, and our daughter - what do I need another one for?" Now my mom is gone too, in March. I am not even thinking about dating, I need to figure out how to live alone after being married for 25+ years.

Good luck, and check your photos - and also, don't discount the possibility of meeting someone in the "real" world:

My wife was with some mutual friends, they invited her to a Halloween party I was giving. She said she wanted to just go home, then she changed her mind. The next day Nick called me and told me, "Arlene really liked you." I asked him "Who's Arlene?" (It was one of THOSE parties). Anyway, I invited her to dinner, and an angel walked in my door - and a smart, funny angel too! Don't give up!

A fascinating and eye opening read...thanks, Decibel

I have found that most men want what women want...contact. What context that contact comes in varies. Everyone told me that on line is the way to meet someone. I gave it a try for almost a year. I went on half a dozen dates after "vetting" the guys for months. They were all very nice and I can't say I ever felt uncomfortable. But what I didn't feel was a spark. Often, while driving home from these dates, I would begin to cry.
I'm done with this form of dating for now. It isn't for me, call me old fashioned but I will take a long look across a crowded room any day over the anonymity of the internet. Of course I will have to leave the house for that to happen. I am four years into my grief, I'm not sure I could have jumped into the dating pool in year one. Best of luck to you.

Unfortunately, the older we ladies are, the harder it is to find an eligible man.
Women normally outlive men.

My aunt lived in a retirement community. There was a running joke
if a woman happened to die, there would be a dozen women with casseroles knocking at the husband's door after the funeral.

I meant to add ... Dr Phil was just talking about meeting people online yesterday.
He cautioned to never meet in an unfamiliar place, anywhere dark, and to never get in someone's car.
Be aware of your surroundings, and PLEASE be very careful of who you're meeting.