rocking you gently and crying with you, nicole. . . sometimes life just hurts.

i have gotten huge rewards out of attending grief support groups. the hurt is easier when shared. it's still hard, but i'll take easier when i can get it.

for what it's worth
at 71 i am starting to feel closer to the people i lost than the ones who are still here asking for dinner. the ones i lost are certainly less picky at the dinner table.

So sorry for your loss.

I was my Mom's sole caregiver, also.

It is never easy to lose someone close to us.

I agree with @Arfie to look into some grief support groups. Also, reading grief books, watch free videos on YouTube about grieving.

Crying is cleansing.

Saying a prayer for you. Please do post on here. We're here to support you. You're not alone.

We are humans and naturally grieve because we have emotions, feelings, and memories. I think we have to name, label our feelings and not stuff them down. Feel how we feel. Acknowledge how we feel without criticizing ourselves.

You are a good person to have been her caregiver. You made her last years better and she appreciates it.

We have had 3 people die in the last year that we know. I have had a very elderly friend move to stay with her daughter, and this was someone I loved as a wonderful woman. She is losing her cognition and she needs to stay with her daughter in another state but she still talks about coming back here to live alone. It scares me to have her live alone again as she really needs a caregiver. I used to be so upset that she was getting so frail and refusing help.

I lost a group of friends this year when they went nuts politically and illogically. One lady ruined our bookclub by taking charge and being the teacher and her personality is abrasive anyway. This was a huge loss for me because at one point, this was a great group of nice people but all the women left are not nice. I was very depressed all summer, it is lifting now.

I also suggest trying some grief support groups. One that I know of that is helping the wife of one of the guys that died in the last year is "Grief Share." She resisted for a long time and finally went and it is helping her thinking. Her husband took care of everything and now she is having to make decisions. Her whole world fell apart.

I can relate to being alone and not having any family or friend support. I have a lot of ambiguous loss from my 2 daughters estranging and so when I get a death loss, and all the friendship loss for me this year so that I often feel alone, the combination feels very terrible.

Journal pen to paper every evening about how you feel. Name your feelings pen to paper. I feel angry, I feel rage, I feel loss/sad. Don't judge your feelings just list them out. It will help you to make peace if you can name and label how you feel each day without judging yourself. A human being you loved has died and now your life is different. We have to learn to create a new life at this point.

And probably all humans struggle to create that new life after a loss or death. We can't stay stuck in the grief and have a happy enough, good enough life. It is a process, it is the human condition.

Stick around here and express your feelings.

I'm sorry for the loss of you Dear Mom...it's So Hard...at 72 I've lost all my family and quite simply, I've never gotten over the pain....

What has happened, and it takes time, once the fog has passed in your mind and life...you begin to learn how to live without the person....it's all a process and takes time to find your way to the point of functioning again.

Be gentle with yourself, try to keep up with self care...sleep, drinking fluids eating well and keeping clean....if you can do that you'll find that other areas of your life will become easier to face daily.

Hugs, Prayers for Peace and Healing...we're here for you any time <3

No words for this great loss. Crying with you.

Loss is so difficult, however, it is something that we all will face. Your love for your Mother is evident in the words that you write, and the feeling of loss that jumps from the page. Your Mother is still with you, she lives in your thoughts, heart and the very essence of who you are. The greatest gift you can give your Mom is to live a full and complete life. My thoughts are with you.

Kymberly

Thank you ALL SO MUCH for your kind words!